Well, I'll just be damned.  I was doing some research just yesterday on Watson, Crick, Wilkins, and Franklin to prepare for a blog I was going to write Ms. Franklin and all that Nobel Prize controversy, when Crick just up and dies today.   How devastating.  I'll write more about this later, I assure you.

Finished my loan stuff today!!!  Now all I have to do is sweet talk my rents into co-signing.  That will probably lower my rates and fees on the private loans.  Which is convenient since I see them tonight as we head to the beach as a family.  (Must not think dreadful thoughts re: no sunny hot beaches in UK.  Must concentrate of joy of chilly empty beautiful unspoiled beaches similar to Washington State.  Or concentrate on possible potential international boyfriend who will wisk me away on holiday to St. Tropez, Ibiza, Mykonos, etc etc.)  After that I send the loan forms directly to Paul at the Financial aid office at KCL and then....  it's freaking official.  I am moving to London!

I know it's cheesy, but last night was the Friends episode where they go to London for Ross's wedding.  I always get so excited to see London any way I can.  And I could name all the famous spots they went to.  I even know the difference between London Bridge and Tower Bridge.  Most people of the world do not seem to understand this (i.e. when searching for "london bridge" images on the net, get personal photos of Tower Bridge labeled as London Bridge by tourists who do not know difference.)  Tower Bridge is the massive bridge farther east that looks like it should be called London Bridge, since it's so high up and appears capable of "falling down."  London Bridge is actually more of just a plain old bridge.


Hmmm...  maybe could find a part time job as a walking tour guide.  Wouldn't that be fun!

I broke a mirror yesterday and then I spent the whole day today with salad dressing in my hair.  At first I didn't think it was so bad, but then it dried and made my hair all sticky, and what's worse, I smelled like rotten anchovies by 4pm (Caesar dressing.)  I didn't realize that it was all because of the broken mirror, I thought it was just a dumb bitch at work who doesn't know how to open a zip loc bag properly (by sawing it open with a plastic knife?  And you call yourself a scientist?) but on the way home, when I smelled really bad in my sweltering non-airconditioned car I remembered the mirror and it all came together in a splendid array of nonsensical cause and effect.  Ohm.

So Gwen Ifill interviews this delegate from Massachusetts (I didn't catch his name) at the Democratic Convention in between speeches last night, and he says, "I want to be as proud of America as I am of Americans."  I couldn't have said it better myself.  

I have very conflicted feelings about my country right now, and conflicted feelings about why I seem so desperate to leave it.  My whole life I've been told that America is the greatest country in the world, and while I don't really doubt that, I am feeling two things: 1) that I need to go out into the world to see that for myself and 2) great as it is, it has a whole lot of flaws. 

My friend Josh got his masters from Bristol and he said after spending nine months in England he was hoping that when he came back America would seem all shiny and new and he would be reminded of why he loved it so much.  That didn't happen.  He said maybe he needed to spend more time away. 

I will never forget the feeling of my stomach sinking when I was in a bar in Rome in January 2002, my first time out of the country since 9/11, and a guy said to me, "Well, America kind of got what they deserved, didn't they?"  He wasn't a Muslim extremist or anything like that, he was a Roman.  A westerner!  I learned that a lot of people don't like America, and it's not necessarily the people you think. 

I need to travel the world and judge for myself if America is the best place for me.  It might not be a given, like so many Americans assume.  A lot of Americans take what's given to them.  A lot will never challenge it.  I don't want to be like that.  I want to love my country because I love my country, and not because somebody told me to love it.

(Because life is all about learning.)
 
When I put oil in my car it doesn't make that noise.
 
 
 
"London is the epitome of our times, and the Rome of to-day."
       -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am going to miss them so much.  I am really worried about finding a good home for them.  I don't want just anybody to have them, you know?


The whole tank 


My golden Gourami 


My eel! 

Today is about 70F and breezy and cloudy.  From what I understand, that is a perfectly normal summer day in London.  I woke up, put pants and socks on, and I'm still cold.  Didn't realize how cold 70F feels when it should be 85F.  I'm wearing socks for Christ's sake!  I started out with orange juice, but now I'm having tea and that helped quite a bit.  Now I understand why tea is such a big deal over there, it really is cold all the time.

I read in Rick Steve's London that afternoon tea is starting to go to the wayside in London because of all the Starbucks.  If that's true that is so sad.  I want to go to London because it's not Washington D.C.  I don't want it to become like D.C. right before my very eyes.  Stupid globalization.

Am so sore from karate two days ago that I can barely move.  Of course it would be nice to soak in a hot bath, but that would necessitate cleaning the tub first, and that sounds more painful than what I'm going through now, so sod it.

"When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford."
        --Samuel Johnson

So I got a new nail polish, and it's a very bizarre shade.  Depending on how the light hits it, it is an amazing variety of colors, right there on every single finger nail.  I put it on yesterday, and between then and now four different guys have remarked on it.  I never thought men noticed this type of stuff, but apparently they do.  Several have even grabbed my hand to examine my fingers close up.  They don't understand it.  I guess that's how you get a guy to notice you; dazzle him with inexplicable science.  They ask me "how did you do that?" and "how does it work?" all while holding my hand.  I've found the secret to immediate intimacy with strange men.  The color is something like Turquoise Opal or something, but it came with a little sticker that said "Rainbow in a Bottle."  It certainly is.

Nothing of any importance seems to be happening in my life, so I might as well tell a story that I was reminded of the yesterday when I went to the doctor and he drew blood for tests. I haven't given blood in quite a long time, because the last time I donated blood was truly awful:

A few years ago, when Akash and I were still dating, S Inc had a blood drive where the Red Cross came to work, hijacked the cafeteria, and took our blood right there in the office. Akash had never given blood before but was somehow convinced that it was the right thing to do (not for giving to others, saving lives, etc; but for his own health, how the body has to regenerate new "fresh" blood. Have I mentioned he's a hypo??) Anyhow, he was nervous about the whole deal, and I reassured him constantly. I had given blood a couple times before and had even sold my plasma in college, where they hook you to a machine and you have a needle in your arm for an hour. So I felt like I was an expert in the matter. Missy was also working there at the time, and tried to comfort him as well. He was all wound up. So Missy goes in first, gives her blood, and by the time I go in, she's sitting at the table eating her cookies and juice. I, confident as ever, lay down and the nurse sticks me and I start giving blood. Akash comes in a while after this and gets set up, and he's actually pretty calm and let's her do it. I'm looking in Missy because I'm positioned that way, and suddenly she just leans her head back and passes out cold! She sort of falls out of her chair but everyone jumps up and grabs her and helps her lay down. So funny. Then Kash is done. He looks over at me, and I'm still going, which doesn't make any sense because he started way after me. So he starts dancing around and bragging about how much better at giving blood than me he is, which attracts the nurse and she checks me out and flatly states, "You've stopped giving blood." What? Then she takes the needle and starts digging it around in my arm which is pure agony. She wants to find the vein again or something. I go white and beg her to stop before I vomit and she does. Then she says, "Well, you only gave half a pint, we can't use this," and sets me free. I sat there for half an hour and gave nothing!! I felt so ill. I go to get my cookies and juice, Kash comes over to comfort me/gloat and when I tell him what happens and he starts calling me "Half Pint" so from now on Missy and I are Pass Out and Half Pint. The Dynamic Duo!

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-Kipling
(Although I much prefer Rikki Tikki Tavi, I thought this was appropriate for the times.)

Is so different from American rap.  I got the new Streets album last week and it's slowly growing on me.  American rap is very boring lyrically I think, nowadays it's about f'ing bitches, wearing ice, rolling out, shooting gats, repeat, repeat repeat.  But musically it's better, way better bass.  The Streets has no bass, but the rhymes are better, more interesting and personal.  I shouldn't make these generalizations from one Streets album.  But so far that's what I got.  I also likes that he raps with a British accent; it seems most foreign singers when they sing, sing with American accents.  I can never figure that out.  But Skinner is very British, and he uses a lot of slang and I love it!  Maybe I'll learn a few things before I head over.  I think I know what 'fit' means now.
 
Feeling really good now.  Getting a lot done at work at work, and I volunteered to be a committee member for this new thing, so that should give the impression I am going to be here for a while.  I studied a lot last night, and read a lot of interesting stuff.  (Getting your molecule in the lungs is easy enough, but the stuff that goes with it can tear up the lungs, don't forget that!  Even seemingly neutral stuff can do damage, so formulators need to keep that in mind.  Fascinating!)  I also had to call the loan people and they are going to mail me my forms.  Can't apply over the internet for international schools.  So now I wait 7-10 days for them to show up.  Ugh!  What a speedbump to slow me down.  But hopefully they won't be too difficult.  I was already approved over the phone for the private loan, yay!  So the rest, how hard can it be?  I think it's mostly me signing stuff that promises my first born child before I default. 
 
Also finally getting rid of my bike today, to an intern here at work.  The massive apartment clean out and removal of all my earthly possessions is finally underway.  I feel lighter already.

"Friends are just enemies who don't have the guts to kill you."
 
Whahahaha!

And some more pics of my friend Sambo and his new son (am getting so addicted to the new digital camera and this Hello program.)  They live in Texas, but his sister-in-law is here, interning for Dennis Kuchinich (who knew he was still running??) so they were visiting for the weekend.  TD is adorable and was very well behaved and just hysterical in the pool.  He's perfect except for something I've never before: the second he wanted something he let out a bone chilling screech!  Most babies I've seen start out small and work their way up, but he was on and off with this all night.  Apparently they had a problem one night in the hotel where the people next door came over because they thought he was being beaten or something.  It's that kind of scream.  But it was great to see Sam, I am wondering if that's the last time we see each other!!
 

TD in the pool 



TD in the tub 

Here's some pics from Nick's party in Clarksville (still have no idea where that is.)  Even though I was in a horrid mood, I still had fun.  I think when the hula girls made all the women get up and learn hula.  It's hard to be upset when you're hula-ing!  Scott made me go, and then I think talking to him all day got me sick, the same bug he gave Akash.  Of course, Scott and I are already feeling better, while my little hypochondriac on the West Coast is still sick and been to the doctor for weeks now.    When he's like that it's sure nice to have him 3k miles away!
 
 

Hula girls! 


Scott points at the coolest girl there



Scott and Missy 

Because no one else told me this, here you go should you need it.  If you apply for American Federal aid by filling out the FAFSA and you read the part of the instructions that says the SAR (the result of the FAFSA) will be electronically sent to the college whose FAFSA code you entered into the form, you will be up the creek if that college happens to be non-American.  They only send it to American schools.  British schools do not accept it.  So you have to mail them a copy yourself.  If I hadn't called I might have missed this all important step.  You'd think the international digital age we live in wouldn't have these problems, but there you go.  That's the penultimate lesson; the ultimate lesson is to call up folks no matter what and get them to confirm all this noise.  It's worth it to get the answer. 

One of my karate instructors pulled me aside tonight to tell me that one of her friends got her degree in London, was there for three years, paid her way through herself and had the absolute time of her life.  Hurrah!  She said that she said she wouldn't trade it for anything.  I am feeling good about the whole deal today. 

Feeling a bit better today. Talked to Abraham again and he gave me 6 of his papers to read! He wrote six papers in college! That's two a year. I think usually you write one or two the whole three years you're there. I also asked him how long his thesis was, and he said it was 300 pages. So he got special permission to go over the normal 200 page limit for theses. Whew! He's a go-getter! So maybe I won't be working 10-12 hour days after all. (And he's only a temp here, how sad.)

I'm on the mutha fucka. Go back in there, chill them niggas out, and wait for the Wolf who should be coming directly.

Jami sent me this pearl of wisdom as I struggle with my finaid. Yea! How true, how true. I can't sleep tonight... too excited!!!

she must rise again from her ashes, more beautiful than she ever was before. So this is what I'm thinking right about now. Last night was total nuclear melt down. My frustration grew to such a point that I completely imploded. The money thing is so hard to figure out. There aren't a lot of websites for American students who want to go full time to a British school (I am not going to "study abroad" so don't use that term here. This ain't a semester, this is the rest of the foreseeable future.) I was nervous about being in debt, furious at myself for not planning it better, scared that there was not a single person or website that could answer my questions, and then I found out I could only take out $18k in Stafford loans. I burst into tears and cried for hours. I even thought for a long time that I would not be able to make this happen this year, and then if not this year then never, then I might as well stay put, marry some loser and have his brat kids just like everyone else. (When I get upset my brain skyrockets out of control like this.) I thought that I wouldn't be able to get it done in time for the semester anyway, and even if I did, all this money might not be worth it. After I took some sleeping pills and calmed myself enough down to put on my new Hello Kitty sleeping mask and go to sleep, I had freaking nightmares about it all night. This is burned into my soul.

(This on top of a day where I spent a lot of time with a guy at work, Abraham, who went to the University College London, got the United Nations to pay for the whole thing and "finished in three years because I studied 10-12 hours a day." United Nations? I never thought that I would ever think, "Wow, you're so lucky to be from a third world country" but there you go!)

So today I came to work, armed with all my info, not quite ready to throw in the towel. I snuck into a guest office and called London (hopefully one of the benefits of working for a British company is that a phone call to the UK doesn't look too suspect.) The first woman I talked to in the financial aid office, I couldn't understand a word she said. She was really British and reallytalkingfast and all of a sudden she put me on hold and while I was waiting for my new best friend Paul to get on the line, I fell in love. With dialing 80 digits to call, with her accent, with the way she had to keep spelling out things with her accent because it was so thick, and with how wonderfully nice she was. Paul was awesome, he shot me emails while on the phone, answered all my questions, set me straight, chilled me out so much by the end I found myself saying "of course it isn't that much money, I can get that worked out." I am so excited now. So excited to live in a place where people will talk like that to me 24/7. And suddenly I find myself feeling like I am able to do all this. After all, if I can get a chemistry degree, de-virus my computer, survive getting evicted, tolerate this job for five years, persevere the two hundred break ups I've been through, earn a master's degree, surely surely I can figure this nonsense out.

Not only can I do it but I will do it. I am excited about going again, because for a little while there I wasn't. And when the thought of not going entered my mind last night, my heart broke. It really did. I haven't cried like that in a long time. It made me realize how badly I want it. And everything that you want that badly comes at a price. Or else it wouldn't be worth anything.

So now I'm more determined than ever before!

Okay, here are the approximate fees for me for the upcoming year:
(because of course I won't actually get them until "mid-August.")
Tuition Fees: £12,102
Bench Fees: £3,500
Dorm Fees: ~£4,000 (for 41 weeks. May need to pay more to stay for whole year.)
For a grand total of: £19,602
At today's exchange rate (1 USD = 0.538857 GBP) that's
$36,377!!

So maybe I work on that and then maybe if I get the grant, the grant can go towards paying that off, since it would go to my tuition anyway. No one really pays this much for grad school, right? Doctors and lawyers, but that's it. Not regular old scientists. There must be a better way around this.

Well, while my FAFSA says I am only responsible for $14k, I think that is not the case. I will email the financial office tomorrow to make sure, but I think I am responsible for all £11 this year. That’s about $20k. And don’t forget the $8k for the dorm room. And the $6k bench fee. I thought I might be able to get some, but I forgot my acceptance letter which says “the College regrets that it is unable to waive fees or make grants or loans towards the cost of your tuition fees or maintenance.”

So I’m looking at $34k. For the first year. That doesn’t include the $10 pints I’ll be drinking after I throw myself into financial ruin. (Thanks for the heads up Rob.)

Here are the things that are keeping me sane:
1. There’s a grant (deadline Nov 1) through the National Science Foundation that seems to be basically for students who want to do research overseas. I think that if I get there, figure out what I want to do, kick some serious ass, not sleep for a month, I can get that puppy filled out and maybe they could help... alleviate... the..... severe.... pain....
2. Even if not, there’s a special scholarship called the ORS that makes up the difference between ‘home’ and ‘overseas’ fees. Which would be super awesome. Most people get those, so that should stop the bleeding at maybe $50k in the next two years.
3. People working at the University know way more about this crap and surely can guide me through all the secret tricks of the trade.
4. It can’t get any worse than this.
5. I’m cute enough to strip. Just kidding, just kidding!
6. Really? Who the fuck cares? This is my dream and I am going to live it. Money is always going somewhere, if it’s not going to pay off a loan for school, it’s paying off a loan for a house or a car or a hospital bill or a bookie or a cell phone company with their lame overage charges.... It’s not worth stressing, because I am so super financially responsible. I put over 40% of my current salary into savings. I can do that for life (so long as I never get pregnant!) And it’s no big deal to me. My folks raised me so right in that regard. Plus I have the $15k in funds and stocks and all that noise, so that will help crush it when I’m done with all this.

Now I just need to concentrate on getting the loan. Hopefully KCL can at least help me out with the Stafford stuff.

I am so calm right now it’s amazing.

Of course, why wouldn't this exist?

I have about seven sick days left. Here at S Inc, sick days carry over year to year, vacation days do not (we don't have so-called "personal days.") So my sick days have been building up over the past five years. Now, when you leave early, you get paid for all the vacation days you haven't taken! So all said and done, I should get paid for about a week this year. Cool huh? Believe me I need it! Now I have those seven sick days to burn, because if you don't use them you lose them, i.e. you don't get paid for them. So I have seven days to use in about ten weeks or so. Think anyone will notice? I usually take about one every two months. That pace is going to be stepped up a bit. They owe me those days!! Plus I need mental vacations before I embark on the adventure of a lifetime.

Plus I'll use one day the last weekend of August, Akash is coming to visit!!!! Yay!!!! I'm so happy. The next time I'll see him is probably around Christmas, his family is going to India for a few weeks and they might have some layover time in London. So hopefully I can see him then. I don't think I'll be coming home for Christmas, unless the folks want to pay for it. I'm okay with being alone for the holidays. Alone or with my new British boyfriend and his family, whichever.... hee hee hee.

"Go confidently into the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've always imagined." -- Henry David Thoreau

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In accordance with the astrological omens,
I've assembled a host of snappy one-liners for you to wield in the coming
week, Cancerian. Sooner or later, it will make sense for you to utter
every one of them. 1. "It only seems kinky the first time." 2. "Even if the
voices in my head aren't real, they still have some good ideas." 3. "To
make your prayers come true, you have to get off your knees." 4. "I'm the
good kind of bad." 5. "It's not really a party till something gets broken." 6.
"Shut up and dance." (P.S.: I don't anticipate there'll be any messy
consequences if you cultivate the attitude I'm suggesting here. But in case
there are, invoke this disclaimer: "I didn't do it. You can't prove it.
Nobody saw me.")

Wicked good birthday. Spent the fourth with some friends of my mom's. They lived at Fort McNair in the most amazing house, literally right on the water. So beautiful. This guy's like head of the whole damn army or something. So we all sat on the lawn, eating, smoking cigars, drinking, and we watched the fireworks launching from behind the monument. It was so cool! And then going home, driving through southeast, all the ghetto kids running around, setting off fireworks. It was like we were driving through a war zone! I love this city so much, I can't believe I want to leave it.

(And look, I'm really fine with getting older, it honestly doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'm feeling better and happier than I ever have in my life, and I think I'm looking better than I have in years. Now, having said that, sometimes I do freak the teeny tiniest bit. Like, "is that a wrinkle?? Do I have cellulite?? Why does my back hurt? Fertility levels start to drop at age 28" and so on and so on. So it certainly didn't hurt when I told this kid at the party who was about 23, tall, gorgeous, and home from Operation Enduring Freedom for ankle surgery that is was my birthday tomorrow and he said, "How old are you turning, 23, 24?" I ain't gonna lie, that felt damn good!)

Got up early Friday and my family picked me up on the way to Takoma Park. My mom gave me money (for London, yay!) and my dad gave me a totally amazing digital camera. I had that ok one from xmas, but this thing is so cool! I am so excited! Get ready for tons of British pictures!!!! We went over to Sherlyn and Jerry's. My parents rented their first apartment from Sherlyn (or something like that) and we've been coming to their house for the fourth for about 27 years now. It's just the best. We went to the parade, it's so dumb and wonderful all at once. We pour champagne down our throats and dance to the steel drum bands. This year a bunch of neighbors got together and did a whole "Billionares for Bush" march, it was hilarious! Went back to the house and did the whole cookout thing, and birthday cake, and sung me happy birthday. One of their kids, Evan, brought his girlfriend, I forget her name, but she was really nice. She told me she was an au pair for a month in London and she said it was so much fun and she had a blast. I went home and passed right out, slept for six hours and missed like five birthday calls!

Called in sick on the sixth, and had an awesome mental health day. Cleaned the apartment, cooked myself all kinds of yummy food, never got out of my pajamas, and watched The Last Seduction. One of the greatest bad movies of all time, "because sometimes fucking is just fucking." Ah ahahaha. So good. Girl power. There was some unpleasantness late that night that involved a silverfish and my broom, and while the matter is not completely finished, I am proud of how I handled it. This did, however, start a whole train of thought based around, "what kind of disgusting perverted nasty-ass bugs do they have in England????" I'm a big fan of bugs, spiders, bees, daddy long legs, cicadas, I'm cool. But silverfish? NO FUCKING WAY. Am so proud of self. I talked to Heather and Kash and it's all good.

In keeping with my splurge of debauchery I called in sick again today. I shopped and shopped and shopped like a good birthday girl and bought way too many shoes, but I also dropped a big bag of clothes off at the bin for charity, so karmically I even out. Eh, I deserve it and I am going back to work tomorrow so it's all good. I am very relaxed and happy, if you couldn't tell from all the exclamation points! Now I'm watching When Harry Met Sally. This movie still cracks me up and I've seen it a thousand times. I have to make a phone call soon and I'm nervous, so I think I'll put my new black patent shiny mary janes on, they will make pacing more fun!

Totally awesome birthday and great last fourth of July. I am going to miss this time of year so much!!!!

So I watched news coverage of Princess Di's memorial (finally) getting dedicated. So it was about 8 or 9 in the morning here, making it around 13 there (they use military time in England) and the Today Show was interviewing people there, and it was bright and sunny as could be! In fact, it was so sunny that people in the crowd were wearing sunglasses! So, the mere fact that there must be enough sunshine there to necessitate owning sunglasses is surely a good sign.

The memorial looks beautiful, I can't wait to go see it. It seems to be some sort of stone fountain that looks the size of a football field. It's over in Hyde Park, which I think of as the other end of the city from me (I'm in Southeast, it's in Northwest) but it might be one of my first stops when I get there. I want to see St. Pauls, this memorial, and Parliament from the Southbank at sunrise. Anyway, it's a cool memorial, and apparently they let you play in it, I saw footage and read articles of kids goofing around and splashing each other. How neat! I don't think you can get away with that sort of thing here, it's definitely a European deal. Maybe because they have fountains in all their intersections while we have crummy streetlights. I only wish it had been dedicated yesterday, on my birthday, rather than today, but that's okay. Besides, Princess Di was a Cancer just like me! And if she can take on the entire world and the British monarchy, surely I can move across one puny little ocean.

Yes! I love love love John Edwards. He is so the man. The excitement and enthusiasm he brought when he beat Faircloth in NC while I was there was so infectious. He's the type of man who'll save politics, I swear. I worry what this will all do to him, he's so young and cute and nice and straightforward.... He seems so uncomplicated now, I wonder how long that will last. But I'm glad he was picked, he's so much better than anyone else. And I know he gets a lot of guff about some of his past, and I hate our litigious society more than anyone, but maybe he's not to blame for the whole system and helping families who's kids were killed is not the worst thing in the world. All I want to say is that I really like the guy, and the only other politician I can say that about at the moment is McCain (and I'm a little bitter at him about those new ads coming out today, but I guess if that's how he approves of his image being used then that says something. Well, I haven't seen it yet, I shouldn't judge.)

2004-2005:

27 September 2004 to 17 December 2004
10 January 2005 to 24 March 2005
18 April 2005 to 3 June 2005

Um, yea, so you can see why I'm confused when I got my acceptance letter and it said, "see you in October."

Scott and Missy (my favorite married couple) are visiting family in Cali right now, and they hooked up with Akash last night. They called me at 3am, drunk, from Huntington Beach, and when Akash got on the phone he told me how much he really missed me and my heart broke in about four places. Ugh, being away from him is so hard. Stupid little monkey.

Not feeling any better this morning, but am watching Wimbeldon, drinking tea and eating buttermilk biscuits I made from scratch. I don't know if I'll make it or not, but as you can plainly see, I belong there! I'll make it, I'll find a way, something will happen. I want it too bad not to.

Starting to have a nervous breakdown about the financial situation. Really. There are several issues to contend with:
1. Feel like I filled out my FAFSA way too late. In fact, feel like I am doing everything too late. Even though King's told me they'd let me know stuff in August, it just feels too damn late. I am freaking out that I didn't plan this well enough and I'm going to miss something, or not have the money. If it takes them this long to tell me when to come to school, they move so slow, how long with it take them to evaluate my FAFSA? A year?
2. Maybe I am nuts for walking away from my job. Maybe I do hate it, and maybe I do deserve better, but Christ they pay me a lot of money. It's a lot of money for me to walk away from. I never wanted to be a corporate slave, never thought I'd fall prey to golden handcuffs. And maybe moving to England is proof of that. Everyone says money isn't the most important thing to them, but how many people actually live that way? I suppose if I go ahead and pull this off it would show me what kind of character I have...
3. Not thrilled with going into debt either. Been in debt before, hated it, got myself out. And that was hard work. Christ, why didn't I plan this better?
I thought writing would help, but it's sending me into more of a nuclear meltdown. I was expecting this, so I'm not totally unprepared for the emotion, but it's stronger than I thought.
Not strong enough for me to stop what I'm doing I guess. I'll keep going until they stop me I guess. Until the school says I can't stay, until the country says I have to get out.... Surely I could find another job? Crash with Akash in Cali until I find one? What's the worst that could happen? Okay, worst case senario: I quit my job and then find out for some reason I can't go. I either fix the problem, my folks bail me out, or I move to California and cash on Akbar's couch. I do have $14k cold hard cash saved up.... What's the worst that could happen? I have to calm down and realize that the worst is not that bad, and it's not even close to the misery of not following my dreams and doing what I know is right. Right?

Look what I found in Wikipedia about vegetarians in the UK!

Since the end of World War II when their numbers were around 100,000, increasing numbers of the British population have adopted vegetarianism, especially since the BSE crisis of the 1990s. It is currently (2003) estimated that there are between 3 and 4 million vegetarians in the UK, one of the highest percentages in the western world. Around 7 million people claim to eat no red meat. It is now rare to find no vegetarian foods in a supermarket or on a restaurant menu.

People over there are so smart, I knew it!

I searched for them on eBay.co.uk and it seems like they're just regular old batteries! Hurrah! I don't know why that's important to me or what sent me looking in the first place, but there is it.

I think by this stage of life if I can't find the answer on Wikipedia, Google or even eBay, then I don't want to ask the question. Grecian rivers? Wikipedia! King's College FAFSA acceptance? Google! Value of a case of unopened mint-condition Bill Beer? eBay! I love the digital times that I am lucky enough to live in.

Nighty night, tylenol PM is kicking in, would like to get a decent night's sleep for once.

I talked to an American today that lived in London for a while. I didn't get to talk to her much but she told me two things: 1. It really does rain that much and the weather totally sucks and 2. all the pollution in the city makes your skin breaks out. Am so happy to hear this. Doh! Forgot to ask her what kind of batteries they use over there. Can't seem to figure it out.