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Monday, June 12, 2006 


Ah, another person to add to the Strangers Who Are Assholes for No Reason List.

This weekend I was patiently waiting in line to buy a train ticket at Richmond station...

A woman suddenly barges in front of me and starts screaming at the man at the ticket window, "YOU MORON YOU NEVER SAID THE DISTRICT LINE WAS DOWN I'VE WASTED THIRTY MINUTES OF MY DAY WAITING FOR THIS TRAIN I DEMAND A REFUND" and started thundering on the glass partition. Everyone in the station has stopped and turned to stare at this monster.... "I HAVE TWO LITTLE ONES TO LOOK AFTER, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO READ SIGNS, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME" and rants on and on about how being a parent means she doesn't have time for these shenanigans.

While waiting for the man to give her her money back, she turns to me as I appear to be someone she could commiserate with. She even has the nerve to say to me, "I have two little ones, I don't have the time to read signs like these" and jerks her thumb at the very large sign posted IN the window that states the situation. Several responses are running through my head:

Obviously you've seen the sign, retard.
There's always a replacement bus, why don't you get on that and get the hell out of my face?
Since you didn't notice the eight highly noticeable signs between the front door and the train track like I did, perhaps you did notice that you were the only moron waiting for a train?
Yes that's true. Why shouldn't you have screaming children bothering normal people trying to enjoy a meal in a restaurant? Why shouldn't you repeatedly clip the people in the ankles with your strollers that equal the size and complexity of a M1 Abrams tank? Why should you have to read the same signs as everyone else? You're an absolute Queen by the mere default that you managed to reproduce, why shouldn't you and your kin be treated as such? I think I speak for everyone here when I say not only is your idiotic presence a treat but we are all looking forward for the genetically-linked, equally-idiotic children you're about to unleash on us in about 15 years.

I'm not totally cold hearted; of course I like children. But parents are a different beast. I blame the invention of Baby Gap. Once you start accessorizing your four month old your brain becomes completely warped into thinking it's okay to behave like an utter ass in the name of The Almighty Childhood, and once that's justified then the feeling of empowerment is never ending.

before i left new york to study here in london, i used to read your blog. never once do i remember you commenting on the english taking the piss out of your being american... and i'm not just talking about sarcastic, humorous comments. i mean seriously unnecessary biased comments about your being american. is it just me? am i meeting the wrong sort of people here? being 25 years old, i believed this sort of immaturity and ignorance went away before this age. i return home next week after my semester studying here. i will forever love london because it really is a wonderful and beautiful city, but it feels nice to know i am going back to where i won't get looked at like a dumbass because i uttered a few words and those around me realized i am american. i am NO sort of fan of american politics and understand how people might stereotype me, but this was just ridiculous. it has felt pretty shit to defend our country, a country that i know has MANY faults.

Anonymous - You should try being Welsh for a while!! It does sound as though you're meeting completely the wrong people though.

Monica - In response to "I don't have the time to read signs like these", you should have said "I don't have time to listen to people like you".

I was waiting in a queue for train tickets recently when a man pushed past everyone saying "Excuse me, my train's leaving in a minute - can I go ahead of you?" but ignored everyones response and carried on pushing to the front. It didn't occur to him that some of us were waiting for the same train. We're not used to that kind of behaviour up here.

I apoligise how some people act like that in UK, people use to be much more polite but now we seem to have become ruder as a nation. I blame the internet and tv. Less communication between people.

I blame all the brash yanks over here, eroding our sense of being meek and mild mannered.

And the weather. I always blame the weather.

I wonder what your take is on the World Cup is? Or do you have an England shirt and a flag already?

stupid breeders. yeah, what's up with these parents using their kids as scapegoats for their stupidty. i'm sick of breeders, and their baby shit everywhere, and their ugly kids screaming in movie theaters.

Brilliantly written, I felt as though I was there with you wishing to strangle the mother.

Found about your blog from our mutual friend Jazz. Def. am bookmarking you!

I love this post.

We all have our own loooong list of people like this. The world truly is full of stupid people.


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