A few more "becoming Londoner" mannerisms sneaking in. Yesterday I bought eggs and didn't put them in the refrigerator (because I had no room, stupid halls mini-fridge) and today I accidently/on purpose/not taking the piss/first time ever said, "innut." So not only am I becoming a Londoner, I am becoming an eastender. Huh.

Am more emotionally drained today than I've been in a long, long time. I'm learning a PhD is not just about working towards an academic goal, but it's also a journey in which you learn a lot about yourself; discover your "qualities" as they say.

I've always harbored secret desires to be a medical doctor but knew I couldn't go through with it because I couldn't cut people open. Just knew I couldn't handle it.

I'm extremely happy with the career I've chosen for myself, pharmacy. I've worked in drug delivery (getting certain drugs to certain parts of the body) for three years now. I love it. For my PhD, I'm working on new ways to get drugs through the skin.

In one of my first meetings with my supervisor, he asked, "animal testing?" I said, obviously, "no." Being a vegetarian Buddhist, animal testing doesn't really jive. Then he said, "human skin??"

"Sure!" It comes from liposuction patients. I thought, "if these vain individuals want to redeem themselves by donating body parts to science, hallelujah." It seemed too far in the future at that point, and so I totally forgot about that whole "cutting people up thing". Unfortunately.

And so that, dear reader, is what I did today. Removing the fat from dethawed skin that had been donated earlier. I know I'm lucky that my supervisor has this connection, and I will have an amazing thesis with this data, but this is by far the most disgusting day of my life. I will spare you the details, but trust me, there are no words to describe the revolting-ness of the situation.

But I did it. I sat there and did it. Lab coat sleeves soaked in blood. Hours of nausea. But I did it. And I'll do it again. And I am far more tough than I ever thought I was. And really really proud of myself.

(Don't worry, no pictures today!)