Another thing I’ll be getting when that money comes through is a good, healthy haircut. It’s been a few months and I am most definitely due.

Usually I try to avoid giving advance notice of a haircut. When I mention this to people the reaction I get is often hysterical. "Ohhhhh nooooooo!" they wail impassionedly. "Not... Not... Your hair!!” as they reach out to me from the depths of their despair.

I hit back with, "Sorry but it’s gotta go. I’ve got split ends the length of raccoon tails up there, it’s time." I flounce off and lose a few inches and no one even notices. So dramatic.

This time, seriously, I could stand to lose about half a foot. It's just too damn long.