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Tuesday, December 20, 2005 

Skittish

I am feeling so incredibly anxious about Friday. True, I'm not really keen on flying (should have thought of that earlier before moving overseas, but alas.) I guess I'm just a bit freaked about going back to America for the first time in a year. I can't believe that it's been a whole year. So I'm worried about a bit of reverse culture shock. No M&S lunches, no currys, no walking up to Covent Garden for fresh baked cookies, no double decker buses, no walking along the Thames, no nothing! It really is quite weird. Worst of all.... I doubt I can get through the whole two weeks living in the suburbs without driving. Ugh, I hate driving, or as we call it in Washington DC, "sitting in traffic."

Hmmm ... well, I wouldn't describe 2 weeks in the capital of the world as "NO NOTHING"!

A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

The other thing you can look forward to is people asking you questions to which they don't actually want an answer: "So, what's it like in London? What are British people like?"
What you will find is that they want a one- or two-word answer, preferably one that makes the UK look sort of backward.

Sample answers:

"London is just like Washington except you can drink beer in the street."

"The British people are just like Americans except they don't care that they have crappy TV."

All you can try to do is make sure they don't think us as either snobby posh swots or dumb country bumkins. Would be grateful if you lied and said we were all like Keira Knightly and James Bond...

Do you get to drive in England and if so how's the traffic? Can you drive faster?
And the next time someone says "yeah but they shoot each other" tell them I said "yeah but at least we aren't the candy ass pansies afraid of a little gunplay." I can't think of a good comeback from that one.

In the UK you can drive at 70 miles an hour in certain places. What is really funny is in the film Speed he was going at 50 miles per hour. My mum actually said to me- "It's a good film but why is it called speed when he isn't speeding?"

In the UK the normal top speed is 80 mph, and the police won't bother you.

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