An American in London

Entrenched

2009-06-07T02:00:00.001+01:00

I'm quite honestly suffering from a lack of anything better to do than update this blog. And I probably wouldn't if I weren't still getting all these lovely emails asking for said updates. My reasons for not writing are twofold, with one being that I'm still (nearly a year later) so incredibly depressed about leaving London that I try to avoid thinking about it as much as possible, and two being that my life trapped in suburban America is so uneventful there really isn't much worth blogging about.

And I'm not sure you'd be too interested in my life, such as it is. Everything seems to have fallen apart quite quickly. The job that I left England for was shortly made redundant only six months after I started, and naturally I was so new there I didn't get any sort of severance. This then throws me into a great deal of financial stress as I have a car loan (can't go anywhere in America without a car) and my massive student loan (for a PhD that I STILL don't have). Despite not actually having a PhD, I only seem to get interviews for jobs which I'm told I'm too qualified to have (I wonder why they call? Do they expect me to interview dumber than I appear or that I've lied on my CV?) so this means that I've gone into serious debt to price myself out of the market. And with Obama's bulleye honing in towards healthcare reform, it might not ever get any better. As an added bonus, my fiance and I have decided not to get married. This isn't terrible news (we're still together), but suddenly not having to plan a wedding at the exact time as not having either a vocation or a degree program (or both) suddenly leaves me with more hours to fill than I know what to do with and it all starts to spiral.....

But despite the above, I'm not here to bitch. I've actually just booked a trip to return briefly to Europe for a few days!!! I'm off to finally defend my thesis! I'm looking forward to this more than you can imagine and so I thought it just had to be documented. I might just throw in a little San Francisco flavor along the way....

Ensconcing

2008-09-26T05:00:00.000+01:00

And my world just got a little bit better....

Derange

2008-09-09T22:00:00.000+01:00

I'm already out of sorts, standing at the checkout queue at Target. I'm exasperated at my need to even be there: it epitomizes everything I dislike about America (mass consumerism, cheap production, all the toys for little girls are bright pink...) and yet I'm here, because I own practically nothing in the way of home wares and after a a few days I'm finding it increasingly difficult to function in my new flat. As I finally make my way up to the register, I open my wallet to realize it's still full of quid, and that I need American dollars if I'm ever gong to get anywhere in this town. I forget if Target does cash back, so I ask.

Cashier: Yes, we do.
Monica: Ok, great, can I get twenty pounds cash back?
C: What?
M: Twenty pounds cash back?
C: What? Twenty pounds of what??
M: Oh my God! I'm so sorry, twenty DOLLARS, can I get twenty DOLLARS please.

But come on, I've been saying "twenty pounds cash back" for four years, so I'm in the habit. You don't even want to see me walk across the street, I'm such a head-turning mess I get laughed at.

So, yes, I'm fully back in the country, living it up on the left coast. But now the question looms over me of what to do with this blog. Mostly I wonder if anyone will still read it once the hook of "little girl lost in a different country" is gone. Then I figured, if that's all that's making me think of stopping, then I should try to see if I can figure that out. So why don't you tell me what you think?

poll by twiigs.com

Ingress

2008-08-20T22:00:00.000+01:00

After a long night and stressful morning, I'm tucked safely in the back of a mini-cab, quite determined to leave London in a far more enjoyable manner than how I arrived (struggling whilst jet-lagged with four large bags on the tube). Of course, life is never that simple. First, emotions get the better of me, as I spend the entire trip on the phone calling various mates, with nearly each conversation ending with me saying, "Aw, shit, if we go on like this I'm going to start crying, so: best of luck, stay in touch, welcome to Cali any time, love ya, bye," followed by an abrupt hang up. I really couldn't stand any more drawn out agony at this stage... To counteract all this pathos with some amusement, the universe fated me a wholly incompetent cabbie, who took three approaches to get me into Terminal Five. I was laughing by the end of it, particularly when he ended up in the short term parking lot instead, and asked me for change to help in paying to exit and try again.

The airport wasn't any better: more painful phone calls, drama checking in ("You can check in on-line 24 h in advance in the future to avoid this, we overbook all our flights." "Yea, I've been a wee bit busy what with moving out of the country and all. Are you telling me 800 quid doesn't guarantee me a seat on this damn flight?!" etc.)

Fourteen hours later, my feet are up on his dashboard, I'm holding a bouquet of flowers, and I realize how bright it is here as I'm squinting despite sunglasses. I am still more sad than excited but the anxiousness is starting to melt away, and I'm feeling much better.

Egress

2008-08-14T00:00:00.000+01:00

I had such grand plans for my final days in London. But unfortunately I fell victim to the siren song of responsibility, and spent those final few days packing, wrapping up things at university, etc. It was boring, but also an excellent way of keeping busy/being distracted, and helped to avoid thinking of what I was actually going through.

I'd planned to redo some things I'd enjoyed the most: St. Paul's, Greenwich, visit my first home here... But then it sort of dawned on me that returning to these places wouldn't really add anything to my memories of them, and might actually make me rather sad, so I skipped it. I was commended earlier in the week for how much of London I'd really seen and done (far more than I ever got around to reporting on this blog) and that there wasn't really much more for me to be exposed to.

On my last full day, I ran some errands in the centre of town and then Huw and I easily found a restaurant I wanted to eat at that I neither knew the name or location of.... If that doesn't exhibit ownership of a city I don't know what does! She is mine, I have taken her in and breathed her out. What else is there to say?

That night I had a heartbreaking goodbye with the best friend on Waterloo Bridge and then walked home. I sat for a long time alone at Trafalgar Square; it was breezy and the fountain water kept sprinkling on my face. Baptism complete, I slowly meandered home, got into bed, and cried and cried.

Vacillating

2008-08-04T16:45:00.002+01:00

I drum my fingers impatiently (is there any other way?) until my nail beds tingle. When I'm too distracted to handle the task at hand I know it, and am aware of the mistakes I'm prone to making. I've had errors booking plane tickets before, and I'm determined not to err in my flustered state today. Especially when this is running at a whopping and nonrefundable $1600.
LHR? Check.
SFO? Check.
August 12th? Check.
Wait, August 12th, 2008? Ah, check.
Vegetarian meal? Check.
Aisle seat? Check.
One way? *gulp* check.

I enter the card details, hover the arrow over the purchase button, shut my eyes and click. "For the best," I think. When I look back at the screen I'm greeted with "Error, reenter payment information."

I bolt out of my chair. A reprieve! The universe is sending me a clear and simple message: Don't Go! I pace the room. I had purposefully avoided giving it much thought, but suddenly a moment of reflection was forced upon me, and I ponder how hard this move is going to be and how much I don't want to do it. "I could just stay here," my brain suggests. Yes, of course! I know what's waiting for me in San Francisco: a fantastic new job, the most wonderful boyfriend ever, an awesome new flat. I'll get married, make babies, and other such joyous and adult-like events. Suddenly this pause makes me realize I'm at a crossroads in my life. Why wouldn't I want to delay such definitive happiness? I could stay here, do a post-post-grad, go to the pub every night, take up smoking, maintain this pasty white hue of my skin, continuously duck the Home Office for not having a visa, stay poor and lonely... My mind rifles through these and a million other self-destructive thoughts. Brain screams, "anything, ANYTHING to keep from growing up!" I flounce on the bed and entertain various Peter Pan scenarios, none of which involve any responsibility or repercussions.

I lean up and look up out the bay window at the gray and misty summer skies. I start to think about sunshine, hot tubs, cable cars, ripe avocados, Obama, Napa Valley, and swimming in the pools of money my new American salary provides. I think back to when I first arrived, so overwhelmed and yet thrilled, walking along the riverbanks of my new city, and realize part of me wishes for that rush all over again. "The Thames is a fascinating body of water, but it's no God damned Pacific Ocean!!"

I get up and go through with it. Confirmation code appears. I sigh. Since I left home when I was eighteen, I've never spent more than four years in one place. Maybe that's just who I am.

Euthermic

2008-07-29T13:15:00.000+01:00

Finally, some days of actual heat. Not summery, warm-ish, but hot. I must admit after four summers here I am still baffled. The first two were painfully sweltering and the last two have been bizarrely cold. Wearing jumpers and long trousers type of weather. So it’s been stunning to have the last few days where it’s been… twenty… five… ish… oh forget it, I’ve got no idea what the temperature actually was. Everything’s reported in Celsius, and I’m still utterly clueless when it comes to translating that into practical terms.

Look, as a scientist I’ve been deeply steeped in the world of metric for many, many years. I know the three most important Celsiuses:
0 º C = 32 º F
37 º C = 98.6 º F
100 º C = 212 º F = 373 K (Oh yea that’s right, I just went Kelvin on your ass!)

When I’m told it’s 68 degrees, I know exactly what that means in Washington DC, and grab the nearest skirt and long sleeved tee, and I’m done, dusted and out the door. Here, I’m at a loss. And I play my guessimation games, “Ok if 10 is like 50 and 20 is like 70, then today is….” but they the time I follow this train to its conclusion I’m well distracted and moved onto some other morning chore that doesn’t involve me getting dressed. It doesn’t help that it could easily be 18 degrees in October, March and July. Seasons here can blend into one, whilst the next week can be completely different from the last and so knowing the temperature is actually rather important. This is why I’ve just given up and taken to carrying a jumper with me always, like an old crazy woman.

(P.S. Did I just use the word 'jumper' twice in that post? #59: Sweaters are called jumpers, for no discernible reason.)

Redivivus

2008-07-21T18:15:00.000+01:00

Yes, back by popular demand (if three people occasionally inquiring could be deemed “popular”). Suddenly not blogging for four months lent itself to some bizarre shame spiral, where each time I came up with the idea for an entry and then subsequently didn’t enter it only made me feel worse than the time before. I also thought I’d have to dream up some protracted excuse for my absence, culminating in some massive mea culpa which again only makes me feel like I’m highlighting my failures as both a writer and a communicator. But if that’s what you’ve come back here for, sorry to disappoint. In actuality it comes down to two points:

1) I’ve been involved in a few very clandestine activities which have been both keeping me very busy whilst not really allowing me enough time to generate much novel material appropriate for interwebs broadcasting; and

2) I’m absolutely broken hearted to be leaving London.

If I’m as madly in love with this city and this experience as I claim to be, why would I want to slowly document the end of the affair? Whenever I start to think about it for more than five seconds, I immediately jump up and attempt to distract myself. I don’t do well with pain; I’m not an artist, longing for the kind of extreme emotion that allows one to then dig deep into the soul and produce a physical manifestation of sentiment to share with the world. I’m a scientist. I use machines and computers and test tubes and spanners and have a lab coat with an actual pocket protector. I stuff my feelings down deep and then cry at inappropriate times while watching movies. So honestly, my head hasn’t been in the best place for blogging. But the thought of leaving this website just stranded and unfinished also nags at me persistently. So, I’m back. Sort of.

Prosaic

2008-03-21T17:15:00.003Z

I'm sorry, I haven't written in quite a long time. All I do now is write. It's so incredibly boring and stressful. So the last thing I want to do is take a break from writing to write about how boring and stressful my life is. So instead I choose to focus on my London celebrity sighting list, which is increasing considerably lately despite the fact I don't often leave my bedroom.

1. Martin Freeman
2. Goldie Hawn
3. Kurt Russell
4. Ivana Trump
5. Charlotte Church
6. Carmen Electra
7. The Darkness
8. Graham Norton
9. Paul McCartney
10. Patrick Stewart
11. Kevin Spacey (smoking around the corner from the Old Vic)
12. Matt Lucas (hailing a cab on Lisson Grove)
13. Jessica Stevenson
14. Simon Amstell (talking to Ms. Stevenson at a special viewing of Grindhouse at Prince Charles Cinema)

Are those last three too British? I mean, I wouldn't have any idea who they are if I hadn't lived here for some considerable time. It makes me feel really acclimated.

Ostend

2008-02-08T23:00:00.000Z

So as you know, after three years of living in halls, I'm now finally out and about in a proper London flat. It's a whole different world out here. On my interview, I came in, met the flatmates, had a quick tour. It wasn't until after I moved in that the mild surprises started kicking in. Take my kitchen for example:

Did you get that? Yes, that's definitely a washing machine in our kitchen!

These seems to be the norm here in Britain. Not that I've been to that many flats, but I am totally addicted to those house hunting shows, like A Place in the Sun and Relocation Relocation (I'm so wound up in the sexual tension I've actually been known to yell at the screen, "Just snog her, Phil! Just throw Kirstie down over that refurbished dining room table and snog the hell out of her!!!") In nearly all of these country homes, the washing machine is in the kitchen. In America, these appliances are tucked neatly away in the 'laundry room' or the 'utility room'. There seems to be something not right about having laundry detergent near all my food but to each his own.

Also note the lack of a dryer. It's washing machine only, which means that in my room I have a clothes drying rack, and it takes me ages before my laundry's done. While I'm all proud of myself environmentally, it is quite strange to constantly have wet clothes in my room. I'd post a picture of that too, but I don't want to broadcast my knickers all over the internet...

Humbled

2008-01-31T22:00:00.000Z

Brilliant. The month I decided to start looking for a big, fancy, high-paying, pharmaceutical job in America is the exact same month America decides to kick off a recession. So anyone who was worried about this blog ending anytime soon can hold off their despair! I'll be here ages yet!

Recrudesce

2008-01-11T13:45:00.000Z

Yes, I'm back!!! Had a nice two week holiday break in San Francisco. Before and after that trip I've been writing furiously for my thesis. Yes, my lab work is finally completed and I'm now in full PhD thesis writing mode. It's hell. Absolute, burning, rain-of-fire-from-above hell. To think that I'm going to be spending the next three months of my life like this is agonizing. It will also be roughly about my last three months in London. The time is fast approaching where I do have to leave and head back across the pond. I thought I would like to stay, as I do love it here more than I ever imagined it was possible. But a rather pressing matter has come up that makes my return to the States imminent:

I got engaged!!!

The love of my life happens to live in America, and so that's where I must be.... I know I will miss London dearly; it's the only place I've ever been in my whole life that I ache for when I'm away. But I wasn't meant to be here forever, and this time is coming to an end. I've got some other stuff to do coming up!

Lionizing

2007-12-08T08:15:00.000Z

It's the most wonderful time of the year, for sure, but also the worst time of the year for blogging. Between all the parties and visits from my parents and old friends in town, I haven't had time to exercise, eat properly, sleep, and definitely no spare time for writing. Sorry!

But I did have to get up early and jot this one down, because it is one of my favorite (yet silliest) aspects of living in London I like to mention: celebrity-sighting! We were at the National Theatre to see a Noel Coward play Tuesday night, starring Alex Jennings and Sara Stewart (whom I was already over the moon about: she's the mom from Sugar Rush, the first series of which is probably some of the best television I've ever seen). During intermission, we were standing around and I was chugging the last of my gin and tonic when my mom said, "Oh look, Patrick Stewart." I turned around, and sure enough, standing right next to us, chatting away with some friends, was Jean-Luc Picard.

So to remind you, my London list:

1. Martin Freeman
2. Goldie Hawn
3. Kurt Russell
4. Ivana Trump
5. Charlotte Church
6. Carmen Electra
7. The Darkness
8. Graham Norton
9. Paul McCartney
10. Patrick Stewart

I must admit I am a little star-crazy at the moment, thinking I see them all the time while I jog around Marylebone and St. John's Wood. Sometimes in my panting induced delirium I catch myself thinking, "Is that David Williams?" or "Holy crap, I think that's Jim Broadbent!" Once I swore I saw Alexa Chung in Mayfair. But I'm never quite sure, don't really get a good look, so just don't trust it. I guess I need someone to run with who's as celebrity keen as I am!

Hungerford Bridge

2007-11-21T23:15:00.000Z

Is actually an incredibly lovely bridge, spanning the Thames, inland from Waterloo. The views are pretty spectacular, and it's a train only bridge, meaning no ducking and weaving amongst cars and buses.

It also leads to an interesting short cut through Charing Cross station so you can avoid all the tourist pedestrian traffic on the Stand, which I suspect is one of those secret things only Londoners know.

But one of the best things about it I've recently discovered is that there is a Quizno's underneath the bridge on the northern side of the river, a lunch spot from the states that I've sorely missed. It's dreadfully expensive and I'm actually thankful for that, or else I'd spend nearly every nice day noshing my fresh sandwich standing in the sun on Hungerford Bridge, soaking up the view.

Regent's Park

2007-11-12T13:00:00.000Z

Just some more lovely fall photos from Regent's Park. This park and Hyde Park are the two closest to my new flat, and I do love that, even though sometimes I find them too large to manage and end up getting lost walking around. In SE1 there were no large royal parks that I could walk to in a few minutes, so I didn't spend much time in parks until now. Before this, I would spend warm afternoons dozing in the Bernie Spain Gardens, which are cute but don't have quite the same effect. Regent's is so big it contains the London Zoo!

Beleaguered

2007-11-07T23:30:00.000Z

No one loves Christmas more than I, and I'm slowly coming around to the fact that it comes earlier every year. Why, I've already been blindsided by the Marks & Sparks window displays (which my flat window looks out on) and their interesting product placement of mince pies next to the Halloween candy. I get that in probably less than 10 years, Christmas shopping will be a year round thing, where we are encouraged constantly to "buy spend buy spend buy spend!!!" I'm fine with it, I really am.

But last night it was all ruined for me, the moment when Christmas in the UK becomes unbearable. I saw my first Kerry Katona Iceland Christmas party advert. I'm shuddering just thinking about it.

I don't know how to explain, but there is something about these ads that drive me mental. If you're not from the UK then you don't know who she is (she's one of 'those' celebrities: famous for being in a band where she didn't sing, famous for a marriage that didn't work, now just tabloid fodder, etc). Her voice and personality are so grating. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I can't find an example of the Christmas commercial on the web for all of you non-Brits. But I did locate a regular non-Christmas one just so you can get the gist of what I'm complaining about. Iceland is a crap grocery store, but I actually think they can do much better than her.

See what I mean?

Harvest

2007-10-30T23:45:00.000Z

Here I am now, well into my fourth English fall. Yes, I say 'fall' and not 'autumn,' much to the chagrin of nearly every Brit I've met.

Me: Ah! What a gorgeous fall day!
Brit: A what day?
M: Fall day.
B: Pardon?
M: Fall, as in the season.
B: Fall? What's this now?
M: *eyes narrowing* You know, after summer, before winter.
B: *grinning widely* Don't follow you.

And this goes on until a stream of curse words starts to pour out of me. I'm not kidding, I've had this exact conversation at least twenty times since moving here. I don't know what it about the word 'fall' that makes me insist on using it singularly (I do promise that I have given in to many other regional dialect preferences) while at the same time makes the natives refuse to recognize it (often they enjoy hearing my take on the vocabulary differences, for taking the piss if nothing else). But with 'fall' we are at an impasse. I guess to me, 'autumn' sounds outrageously pretentious. It's a very pretty word but somehow I can't say it without feeling like a total prat. (#57: Insistence on using the word 'autumn'.)

Anyway, to wash this unpleasantness away, today I took some photos of my favorite tree in front of one of my favorite London buildings:

Fall indeed. Summer 2007, we hardly knew ye.

Ostentation

2007-10-23T14:30:00.000+01:00

I'm a big American sports fan, and miss that part of my old life terribly, but do try to keep up. As a student I can't afford special satellite or internet packages that allow me access to the games, but I do alright via ESPN, etc. So imagine my surprise last month when it became obvious to me that London was keeping better track of NFL schedules than I was:

At first I just shrugged it off, "They're in two different conferences but whatevs, that's the trend nowadays with nearly all American professional sports leagues-- wait a minute, I'm not in America! Why the hell is the NFL being advertised on the tube?!"

The answer, as of course I'm sure you know by now from the advertising blitz that has ensued this week, is that the Giants and the Dolphins are playing each other at Wembly Stadium. Something I never thought I'd see in my lifetime, mainly because I was sure I'd die before Wembly would ever be finished.

I'll root for the Dolphins because 1) they are 0-7 this year and 2) three years abroad has not tempered my hatred for the Giants and Jeremy Shockey. I doubt anyone else in London will even care. I've given up trying to convince them that it's a sport worthy of their attention, and I figure this will be even more difficult after all the excitement generated by the Rugby World Cup. American football players wear a ton of gear to protect themselves, only play either offense or defense (meaning each player only plays about half a game) and on top of that, play stops every few seconds. It takes over three hours to watch a game consisting of one hour of play. So compared to rugby or soccer which are much more action packed, I don't think this is going to go over well here at all.

Of course, please don't anyone tell Christian Slater this.

Fervid

2007-10-18T11:45:00.000+01:00

Look, I've already resigned myself to a hellish fate for writing this down publicly, but the next time I read or hear something about Madeleine McCann I'm going to have a total mental fit. I seriously can not take it anymore. Part of the problem is that ever since my move last month I am now a commuter who takes public transport. This means I am privilege to two, yes two, free papers every single day. I get the Metro in the mornings and the London Paper in the evenings (sorry but London Lite is just shit, so I refuse to pick it up.) Couple these with the fact that I am already a news junkie, and keep a personalized Google News profile as my homepage, and I am completely saturated with incoming information. Usually this keeps me quite happy, I enjoy knowing as much about the world as I can possibly absorb. But out of all the stories in all the world, this one does my head in. To me it's all very simple: either 1) her parents killed her; or 2) her parents left her alone to be kidnapped and then put on such a show to find her that they probably freaked out the kidnapper into killing her as a way to avoid being caught with her. In both scenarios she's dead, and not one more story that comes after this will be anything pleasant to read. Either she'll never be found (heart breaking) or her body will turn up one day (horrible). So why is anyone still interested in this? If just a smidgen of the effort that's gone into finding this one little girl had been applied into searching for the other 77,000 children who go missing in the UK every year, there might actually be some happy stories to report. So frustrating.

http://uk.missingkids.com/

Winchester!

2007-10-15T22:45:00.000+01:00

I've been making a much more concerted effort to get around England this year, I'm not sure if people noticed but I do get chided on this quite a lot in comments and emails. A lot of, "my town is the greatest and if you don't come here you'll never get the full experience of living in the UK." I appreciate these insights, I really do. But I'll never make it everywhere. That said, I really do want to see as much as I can, after all Europe is awesome, but this is where I came to live.

In the spirit of that, may I present to you my two hours in Winchester. Apparently it has a very big cathedral, used to be the capital of England, has the Table-that-they-tell-tourists-is-THE-round-one-knights-used-to-sit-at-but-
that's-not-true, and Jane Austen died there. It was a nice way to spend an afternoon.

King Aurthur's Round Table

The famously long Winchester Cathedral

The Guildhall

View from atop one of the gates

(Not sure what this is, may be part of Winchester College, feel free to correct me if you know).

Barcelona!

2007-10-01T11:30:00.000+01:00

Took what I think may be my last (one of my last?) European trips, this time to Barcelona for a long weekend! I thought everything would be so great, based mostly on weather forecasts and the fact that when I told my PhD supervisors I was leaving I didn't get yelled at for half an hour. But no. I started to suffer from an extremely nasty flu the day we left, the weather wasn't that great, and vegetarian food was actually pretty tough to come by (I thought that would have improved in the seven years since I was last there). Other than that, we had a great time, which reached a zenith when we accidentally stumbled upon the nighttime portion of the La Merce festival. People dress up as devils and put on massive dragon costumes and spray fireworks directly onto on another. It was madness! I think we saw one ambulance standing by for about 5000 people! But no one seemed to get burned or otherwise injured, and it was a really surreal experience. Amazing!

View of Barcelona from Park Güell

Casa Batlló by Gaudi

Cathedral of Santa Eulàlia Garden

Arc de Triomf

The Cascada in the Parc de la Ciutadella

Josep Subirachs sculptures on the Passion façade of La Sagrada Família

On the beach!

caught in the middle of the La Merce festival!

Transference

2007-09-16T23:00:00.000+01:00

I've moved!!!! Look at my new building, isn't it gorgeous and London-esque?

My new neighborhood is totally rocking. I guess it is technically the Edgware Road area, but I'm having a little difficulty determining the actual borders of this designation. Seems to be just the area "around Edgware Road," as I've been told. From what I can tell though, I'm about a 5 minute walk from Marylebone, 10 minute walk from Baker Street, and a 10 minute walk from Paddington Station. So if all that is Edgware Road, then so be it. And I absolutely adore my flat. It's clean and nice and safe and full of lovely people. I even live over a news agent and a restaurant, and across the street from the tube station; I really love the big city feel to it!

A lot of people gave me a bit of a hard time when I told them I was moving here. "Yuck," they'd say, and crinkle their noses. I'm really not sure why, as I'm finding it delightfully busy and interesting (especially when compared to my old 'hood by Waterloo station, which was dead at nights and weekends). But I suppose if I had to guess, it's due to the distinctly ethnic flavor around here. There are loads of Middle Eastern types walking around, and nothing but Lebanese taverns up and down the whole road. It's not like I'm the only girl walking around without a hijab, but it's definitely a common sight (seen plenty of full burqas, too). Edgware Road was also one of the tube stations bombed in the July 7 attacks, and now that I've been here I'm not at all sure why. I've been told it's due to the Paddington Green police station, which is very big, scary, used to hold terrorist suspects, and I can see it from my window. Apparently it's the victim of lots of terrorist offensives. But I'm not scared. After all, if I don't take this awesome, not-too-expensive flat in a cool area, then the terrorists win.

Lugubriosity

2007-08-27T21:15:00.000+01:00

I apologize, dear readers, for such scant writing this past month. I think I'm finally ready to admit that I'm in a moderate mode of depression, and that state of mind is not conducive to creatively writing cheerful quips about the very great city I live in. Not to bog you down with my troubles, but essentially my supervisors have decided that despite the fact my three years are now over, my PhD is not finished, and are thus forcing me to extend my time in the lab. This obliges me to turn down a very good job offer and prolong my continuing state of financial ruin, not to mention wonder about how much longer they plan to keep me at their mercy. This is one of the joys of academic life, I've been sarcastically told. There is no HR department, no contracts to sign, no rights whatsoever. They hold the keys to my completion, and so why shouldn't they use that to their advantage? The moral of this story (at least how I'm honestly feeling at the moment, hopefully this will change in the future) is, "never get a PhD."

Enough about that. Since I don't have anything pleasant to add at the moment, and certainly don't want to neglect you, I'll leave a quote from Bill Bryson's most excellent book Notes from a Small Island. This was a Christmas present from my father (thanks Dad) and I've been saving it until the end of my time here, as a way to start the heart-wrenching process of saying goodbye. That moment appears to have been indefinitely postponed since I started the book, alas. But I am still absolutely loving it. Here's his bit about London:

"I can never understand why Londoners fail to see that they live in the most wonderful city in the world. It is, if you ask me, far more beautiful and interesting than Paris and more lively than anywhere but New York--and even New York can't touch it in lots of important ways. It has more history, finer parks, a livelier and more varied press, better theatres, more numerous orchestras and museums, leafier squares, safer streets, and more courteous inhabitants than any other large city in the world.

And it has more congenial small thing--incidental civilities, you might call them--than any other city I know: cheery red mailboxes, drivers who actually stop for you at pedestrian crossings, lovely forgotten churches with wonderful names like St. Andrew by the Wardrobe and St. Giles Cripplegate, sudden pockets of quiet like Lincoln's Inn and Red Lion Square, interesting statues of obscure Victorians in togas, pubs, black cabs, double-decker buses, helpful policemen, polite notices, people who will stop to help you when you fall down or drop your shopping, benches everywhere. What other great city would trouble to put blue plaques on houses to let you know what famous person once lived there, or warn you to look left or right before stepping off the curb? I'll tell you. None."

Hear, hear. I still can't figure out for the life of me why Londoners always seem to dislike London so much, but they universally do. I guess they never see it from the eyes of an outsider and take it for granted. I know now that there certainly are frustrating aspects of residing here for long periods of time, but it's still, hands down, the most awesome city I've ever been to. And the mere thought of that is actually cheering me up a little.

Oxford!

2007-08-14T23:15:00.000+01:00

On the way back from Bath, we just had to stop in Oxford. It was beautiful and peaceful. The buildings are so amazing. Almost makes me wish I weren't living in London!

Christ Church, University of Oxford

Now I know where Harry Potter eats!

And as an added bonus we stayed in a hotel that used to be a prison:

Yes, it looks cool, but it actually kind of freaked me out. I wasn't really comfortable in the place, despite it being a very fancy luxury hotel and all.

Assiduous

2007-08-08T20:30:00.000+01:00

Today someone showed up to work wearing a Washington Redskins shirt. Totally random, and made me very homesick. Didn't stop me from singing the fight song however, which I learned in elementary school choir of course.

Ooh, I've been busy busy busy. I am all set to be done with my lab work in a month or two! Looking for a job, because in even less time, one month, I have to move out of the dorms and into some proper accommodation. Yes, this 30 year old is finally getting her own place. (And by "own place" I mean flatshare!) Not cheap, and so to afford this extravagant new lifestyle I will be needing some sort of income. This is harder than it sounds; I've applied to over 30 jobs, gotten 2 responses, and only one interview. It's a nightmare. But no matter what I am looking forward to moving outside the King's College bubble and experiencing London on a more real level.

Bath!

2007-07-22T21:00:00.000+01:00

It's so lovely to get out of London. This time I managed to get all the way to Bath (if you don't count Scotland, this is the farthest in the UK I've gotten yet). It was absolutely gorgeous. Even managed to spend a few hours in that super fancy new Spa (wasn't the biggest fan, there's a lot that's not right about the place, but the rooftop pool is money). Bath was very quiet though, I guess it's not quite hopping when the University is out. But the architecture was gorgeous, the shops were quite cute, and the river was wonderful. Even though the rain tried its best to ruin the day.

Bath Abbey

River Avon

Roman Baths

Bath Abbey

Bath Abbey

Descry

2007-07-18T15:45:00.000+01:00

I am still reeling from the most massive London celebrity sighting I've ever had! Walking along Shaftesbury Ave two weeks ago, and noticed this phat Lexus SUV pulling between traffic like it owned the joint. It stopped at a red light and while I walked by I glanced inside and sure enough, in the passanger seat talking on a car phone (they still make those?) was Sir Paul McCartney!!! And I honestly couldn't believe it was him, so after I crossed the intersection I stood on the curb and just stared at him. Eventually he noticed us staring and waved! Bingo!

I think I'm finally starting to add some serious meat to my celeb spotting list, because I've got a few now who are world famous, not just England-famous. I mean, this guy was in probably the greatest band of all time.... So just try and beat that.

My list, updated:

1. Martin Freeman
2. Goldie Hawn
3. Kurt Russell
4. Ivana Trump
5. Charlotte Church
6. Carmen Electra
7. The Darkness
8. Graham Norton
9. Paul McCartney

Wimbledon!

2007-07-13T22:45:00.000+01:00

Something that I've been wanting to do since before I ever even dreamed of coming to London, but could never seem to make happen, is go see tennis at Wimbledon. First of all tickets are near impossible to get, it's all lottery-ified. If you don't have tickets, you can just randomly go wait in line, and hope that enough people leave for the day so that you can be granted access. Sometimes you don't get in. So as you can imagine, it's a little hard to rally the troops for this. But a lovely friend of my put her foot down, forced us all to go, and even negotiated a date when I was available, and away we went. After queuing over two hours, we were in. And it was awesome!

It was one of those days where I felt totally amazed that I was in London. And after being here 2 years and 10 months I just don't get those feelings too often.

Chronicle

2007-07-09T22:30:00.000+01:00

Ok, I'm back from the most decadent week ever, that was in honor of my 30th birthday (for example, Wednesday night was spent at Gordon Ramsey at Claridge's with a seven course, 4 hour meal. Oh, and I never in my life thought I would spend the Fourth of July with a Cornwallian and an Australian in a British restaurant that serves French food; no freedom fries for me!)

While I got some great gifts and stuff, what I am most thankful is England's present: we've finally gone smoke free!!!!!!! No more smoking in public, enclosed spaces. I am so happy. I think I'll be a lot more inclined to go out now, as places also should be less crowded. The same phenomenon happened the first time I went to California, everyone was standing outside smoking and the bars were comparatively empty inside. You could get a drink so quickly, extra bonus!

Neoteric

2007-06-28T23:30:00.000+01:00

Wow, I guess we have a new Prime Minster. Just like that. Hardly seemed like anything happened, no ceremonies for the public, etc. I think there's something with the Queen, Blair tells her he's out, Gordon tells her he's "forming a new government" and I suppose she green lights this. But no parades, fireworks, swearing-ins, or anything that generates a big fuss. Is this the norm? Did I miss something? Or is this because he wasn't elected? So weird to live in a democracy with a leader we didn't elect. I guess this would be like if the President died and the VP had to take his place, i.e., Truman or Johnson. I'm not sure how long Gordon can just continue being PM without any vote; seems to me like he can ask for an election whenever he pleases. So weird. Still, I'd take this over the now two year election process in America. Seriously, it's been going on since last year and the vote's not until November 2008. I'm sick to death of it and I don't even live there!

I can't believe that since moving here I've lived through a new PM and a royal wedding and both events were amazingly boring. What a shame. I know it can't all be Princess Di and New Labour ... but still.

Frore

2007-06-26T22:00:00.000+01:00

This is addressed to all of you living in and around London: Um, does anyone know what the hell happened to summer?! It is freezing! Like, I'm outside for one minute in long sleeved shirt and jeans and I am actually cold. (And I've acclimated over the years, I swear.) I know that Wimbledon's on, and this is a prescription for bad weather and rain, but this is absurd. What happened to all those heat waves from last summer? I know it's flooding and things are a real mess, but come on greenhouse gases! Fifty degrees (10 C) is just too damn cold for the end of June.

Cozen

2007-06-10T19:45:00.000+01:00

Last week these magically appeared at my Sainsbury's Local:

This is kind of interesting, as I lived in Maryland for 25 years and never once noticed it to have its own type of chocolate chip cookie. This is a similar emotion to the one I experienced in Tesco a few months ago when I noticed they stocked something called, "Maryland Corn Relish," again, nothing I ever came across in my two plus decades in Maryland.

I'm sure there are legitimate reasons for these product names but I can't shake the nagging suspicion that it's some sort of marketing ploy. By associating with names that are clearly American, what are the manufacturers trying to say? As if we really know our food in America, after all, that's why we eat so much and are so fat? Because our food tastes so good? I don't want to delve into a huge debate, but Londoners are always ranting on about "how fat you Americans are." Right, because I have yet to see a McDonald's here. "Americans may be fat," I always say, "but you Brits sure are catching up fast." As this adorable graphic shows:

As for the cookies, naturally for researching this post I purchased and consumed them. They taste nearly identical to Chips Ahoy. Not great, but will satisfy in the middle of a hormonal and/or stress induced feeding frenzy I'm sure.

Plumb

2007-05-30T22:00:00.000+01:00

The weekend before last (you know, back when it felt like summer was on its way, instead of the depressing mess we have now) I went down to Tower Bridge to see it do what lots of Londoners have never seen: go up!

The whole point was to see this, the Gotheborg. Pretty neat. It was tugged in, a band played, it fired some cannons, the HMS Belfast answered back, and it was a pretty nifty experience. It's nice to see something like that in action, especially since I'm still in mourning for the Cutty Sark.

As for me personally, I am doing ok, the PhD is plodding along. I am supposed to be finishing up my lab work at this stage, and often it still feels like I've got a long way to go. And the thought of that drives me mad. A lot of days I just want to quit and go home, but I know I'd never be able to forgive myself for that. I'm starting to feel like I'm trapped in my own hellish Pianosa, where you can't finish a PhD until you've been driven insane, and if you're insane you can't finish.

Reclaimed

2007-05-18T23:45:00.000+01:00

Tonight a friend and I waxed nostalgic about TV shows. He would talk about British shows I'd never heard of; I'd talk about American shows he never heard of. Such is the ocean that divided us in the 70s and 80s, before internet, DVDs, and You Tube made everything so wonderfully accessible. So we compared notes. It seems every thing we mentioned has its appropriate counterpart. Schoolhouse Rock had its Look and Read. Grange Hill is maybe similar to Degrassi Junior High (although Degrassi never had Anthony Minghella as a writer I'm sure). As I've mentioned earlier, Lassie was akin to The Littlest Hobo (although TLH never had Leonardo DiCaprio I'm sure). And so forth. It's an interesting game actually, I bet if you left something in the comments, someone from another country could try to match it.

One funny thing that occurs was when I heard the Grange Hill theme song, I thought it sounded like Sanford & Son!

Observe:

Ok, maybe not. But if you haven't heard Sanford & Son in years then maybe you could see how my brain led me astray. At this point of course I had to explain what Sanford & Son was, as he'd never heard of it (think of all the other jokes on Scrubs that English people don't get!!). I explained it and the reaction was, "Oh, you mean Steptoe and Son. Clearly your show comes from my show."

"Yea, right," I scoffed. "Playa please."

But I looked it up on Wikipedia and lo and behold, it's true. Not exactly the kind of material and trivia I came 3,000 miles to learn, but I am learning just the same!

Addled

2007-05-12T21:00:00.001+01:00

#56: The Eurovision Song Contest.

This is not British, and that's why I've not mentioned it before. But people seem to have been talking about it a lot lately, I have no idea why.

I'm watching it now and it's quite safe to say I just don't get it. It's just extremely cheesy songs, with "musicians" playing their air instruments behind the singers, cut with bizarre mini-movies and banal commentary by Terry Wogan. And most of them sing in English as well, which is disappointing. I thought after I saw last year's winners that it would all be totally nuts, just the most whacked out show ever. But it's boring and lame and ridiculous. I have no idea why 500 million people watch it every year. Those wacky Europeans, I tell ya.

Exposure

2007-05-02T18:30:00.000+01:00

Finally, today I spotted another celebrity to add to my collection of sightings. Graham Norton was walking along the southbank at lunch today, with a very silly looking dog. I forget if he is famous in the states or not, I think he may have had a show on a cable network but I honestly can't remember now. I've been away from America so long I'm starting to forget!

So here's my random celeb list:

1. Martin Freeman
2. Goldie Hawn
3. Kurt Russell
4. Ivana Trump
5. Charlotte Church
6. Carmen Electra
7. The Darkness
8. Graham Norton

As for me, regular readers might have noticed that I've been basically AWOL this last month. After getting back from down under I had to go to Amsterdam for a pharmaceutical conference, and while that was a good time I did start to feel horribly ill while I was there. This has been going on a while so I finally decided to go to the KCL Health Centre. Their diagnosis? The mumps!! Despite being vaccinated and all. I basically feel like death, so please forgive me if the posting speed remains languid.

Melbourne!

2007-04-27T08:30:00.000+01:00

Great gravy, I'm finally back from all my traveling (for the foreseeable future anyway). I've already had three holidays this year; I am so addicted to this European holiday schedule I don't know how I'm going to cope when I go back to the states (usually two weeks vacation allowed!) I have to do some work on this PhD or it is never going to get done. So while I do that, enjoy more pictures, this time from and around Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.

Jervis Bay

Royal Exhibition Building

Melbourne was so hip...

Shrine of Remembrance

Driving along the Great Ocean Road

Lighthouse at Aireys Inlet

Twelve Apostles

Sydney!

2007-04-17T22:00:00.000+01:00

On the ferry to the Zoo

The Sydney Aquarium

Chinese Garden of Friendship

View from Sydney Tower

Manly Beach

Circular Quay

The Sydney Opera House

Sydney was so awesome, I loved it! Even got to see an opera IN the Opera House, how rockstar is that?

Singapore!

2007-04-10T22:45:00.000+01:00

I'm back!! And finally starting to come to from the jet lag. I had. The. Most. Amazing. Time. Ever. Before we get to Australia, we have to do my twelve hour layover in Singapore. It was unreal. I'd never been to Asia before. I'd never been so close to the equator before. I'd never been a place that just... felt so different... before. There is no explaining it. So I'll let the pictures do the talking for me.

Sri Veeramakaliamman Temple in Little India

Thian Hock Keng Temple

Metro sign!

Raffles Hotel

Raffles Hotel

Peregrination

2007-03-18T19:30:00.000Z

I am now at the stage of my PhD where it's time for me to start getting the word out about what I've done. It's time to convince people that I've done something novel (and that I've done it correctly) and this would be of interest to them. Oh, and also if they happen to be interested in hiring me that would be even better.

Somehow I've gotten roped into a bunch of dates at which I'm giving presentations (about 20 to 30 minutes each). Here are my tour dates:

14 Feb- University of Hertfordshire, UK
7 Mar- Pharmaceutical Science Division, King's College, London, UK
24 Mar- Society of Cosmetic Chemists, Wollongong, Australia
26 Apr- [a pharmaceutical company I can't name], Guilford, UK
6 Jul- Postgraduate Symposium, King's College, London, UK

I know, it makes me dizzy to think about it. I'm thinking of getting t-shirts made with this printed on that back, like bands do. Luckily I feel pretty comfortable speaking in public so it's not really a big deal. The last two will probably be the poorest of the bunch, as one is the day after I return from a week in Amsterdam, and the other the day after my 30th birthday; so neither time I think my synapses will be firing all that quickly.

So I'm off to Australia now! That's Wollongong for the conference, then a week in Sydney and a week in Melbourne, bookmarked by two long layovers in Singapore. I'm so excited I can barely sit still! (Which is only going to make the 22 hour flight that much longer....)

So I won't be blogging for about a month, try not to miss me too much!

Paris!

2007-03-13T22:30:00.000Z

People are starting to rag on me about how much I travel. Friends and family want to know how I afford it and don't I have "homework" I should be doing? British friends are starting to feel that I've upped them, having been to more places in a few years than they've ever been. I can't help it! I'm sorry! I'm only here a limited time, and since it's much cheaper than you think (really!) I feel I must partake. I know it's bad, in fact I'm starting lap Europe, going back to where I've been before. And it was even more gorgeous the second time:

Stained glass at St. Chappelle

Chopin's grave at Père Lachaise Cemetery

Basilica of the Sacré Cœur in Montmartre in outstanding weather

Arc de Triomphe at dusk

Panthéon

Eiffel Tower of course!

So sue me!

Purview

2007-03-04T22:00:00.000Z

I spent all Saturday afternoon stomping around the Primrose Hill neighborhood since finally, for what seems like the first time in months, the sun has come out. I wanted to check out a place I'd never seen before, which I most certainly did. I've never in my life seen a place where people just park their Rolls Royces and Ferraris out on the street.

I've had a debate a few times about where the best view of London is (from the ground only, no sky scrapers or London Eye can be included). Usual suspects are Primrose Hill and Hampstead Heath. Now having seen both of these, I think they pale in comparison to Greenwich Park. Here, you decide:

Primrose Hill, Regent Park:

Parliament Hill, Hampstead Heath:

Greenwich Park:

The Greenwich view is actually difficult to catch on film, it's more of an overwhelming panoramic vista of awesomeness. I think what puts it over the top for me is the sight of the river. If the Thames weren't here, London wouldn't be here, so what's the point of trying to see all of London at once without seeing the river?

I absolutely love views, so if you have any hidden gems please let me know!

Slew

2007-02-27T19:00:00.000Z

This one is really messing with my noggin.

Apparently here a "billion" is a million million, while in the States a "billion" is a thousand million (#55). How could a definition like this not be standardized? Spelling is one thing, but huge numerical discrepancies is surely another!

So it's the difference between:

1,000,000,000 and
1,000,000,000,000.

That is so odd I can't comprehend it. Must generate a great deal of confusion at international business meetings. Also, does this mean Richard Branson is a helluva lot richer than I thought?!?

Bobby

2007-02-17T17:00:00.000Z

While I mostly pretend to be a calm, cool, collected Londoner, every once in a blue moon I think it's fun to take advantage of some of the more cheesier fare the city has to offer. I'm usually exposed to this on a regular basis, what with living smack in the middle of Zone 1. I manage to mostly ignore promotional events and celebrity hoopla. But there was one occasion coming up that I simply could not resist. When I realized that I hadn't been looking forward to seeing a movie this much since Lord of the Rings was first announced to be in production, I thought, "sod it" and marched off to Leicester Square to see the premiere celebrations of Hot Fuzz.

At the Vue Cinema:

The "red" carpet:

Nick Frost and Simon Pegg:

It was a bizarre situation, with people actually screaming. I thought that it was an alright time, until it started pouring down rain. I did get my collector's edition DVD of Spaced signed by Edgar Wright, Pegg, and Jessica Stevenson (who was so incredibly lovely). I also nicked one of the promotional cardboard posters as a souvenir. This began my actual favorite part of the evening.

On the London Underground, as I imagine any public transport in any large city, people ignore you. They bump into you, knock you over, jostle you, rush by you, and talk on their phones loudly in front of you. I always thought you'd have to actually be on fire for any one traveler to notice you. This turns out not to be the case: one only has to walk around with a giant Hot Fuzz poster. People were grinning and nodding at me all the way home. I don't know if this condition is particular to Hot Fuzz specifically (although not overly well known, they have received a lot of publicity lately; Pegg and especially Frost do seem to have this "regular guys made good" air about them, and I could see how locals would love to see two of their own raze Hollywood in the name of Britain) or any movie posters in general. I recommend you try it sometime.

Update:
Now I have seen the movie, and I loved it. I laughed through all 124 minutes. (Disclaimer: I laugh at everything.) The guys that I saw it with seemed to approve of the reviews that it's getting: it's not better than Shaun of the Dead (but really, who honestly thought they could top it?) yet it's still going to be miles better than anything coming to the cinema for months. This was confirmed to me Monday morning when whilst exchanging weekend stories a mate looked up at me wistfully and said, "You got to see Hot Fuzz? My girlfriend forced me to Music and Lyrics. It was beyond rubbish."

Farthing

2007-02-09T22:45:00.001Z

I love when friends and family come to visit me. It's not only a blast to see them since I miss them so much, but also a riot when they check out my life here. Things proclaimed upon immediately are usually my location ("holy crap, the river's right there! And that giant ferris wheel!"), my living accommodations ("dude, this really is a dorm room!! Are you the oldest person here?!?"), my transportation options ("I can't believe you don't have a car, you seriously walk everywhere?!"), and of course their condition ("I am so jet lagged that if I don't sleep soon I am going to kill myself and/or others.")

Once I've got them settled and take them out to show them my new world, the real fun begins. For some of them, not all but some, it is their first time abroad. It's good for them as they have a built-in local at their disposal. I thoroughly enjoy watching their discoveries and frustrations, and then helping them through the process. One of my favorite moments comes usually near the end of the first day, after some pints and a meal and maybe some shopping. They've either bought something or are cleaning out their pocket and they hold out two handfuls of unfamiliar British change.

"Hold on to that!" I cry, "It's worth a lot!"

American change is, for all intents and purposes, worthless. The largest amount is 25 cents. We have paper dollars, unlike here where the largest amount is 2 pounds sterling. It's not uncommon for me to be able to purchase a decent sized lunch with my change, or even groceries. Every time I buy anything, I check my change purse first because you just never know! When an American grumbles to me about all their "damn change" I have to convince them to hold on to it, because at today's exchange rate that's at least twenty dollars they're lugging around. It's also the sheer numbers that confuse them; while we only have four kinds of coins, here there are eight (1p, 2p, 5p, 10p, 20p, 50p, 1 and 2 quid).

Once they realize this I am then usually challenged with the inevitable question, "So if five pounds is the smallest paper note, and that's worth ten bucks, and one pound is a coin.... What do they give strippers?"

Unfortunately I still have no idea. It's a riddle that puzzles me to this very day.

Modulation

2007-02-04T23:45:00.000Z

I've said it before and I'll say it again, British accents during the Superbowl are just wrong wrong wrong.

What's interesting that we've noticed this year: what's playing here, on ITV, is actually about 30 seconds ahead of what's playing in the USA. While I was on the phone with someone I noted that Billy Joel was performing the anthem, the person on the other end of the line had no idea what I was talking about. We realized that there was a TV delay on his end, but not on mine. Interesting! Could this be due to the American television networks desire for a delay to screen for any wardrobe malfunctions so that they can't cause a nationwide scandal (again)? If so, does that mean that their British counterparts aren't worried about things like this? I guess because it's after the watershed, anything goes here.

I love the watershed (#54). I suppose that things get a little more risqué after 10 PM in the States, but not really. There's still so much you can't show. Here, though, all bets are off after 9 PM. I guess that it is supposed to gradually get more salacious as the evening goes on, but I mean there are some seriously kinky sex shows on by 11 PM. Usually on channel 5. Not that I watch them or anything.

I like that here you can decide what you're grown up enough to watch. I hate how controlling the American government is with their media. I mean, we Americans just don't know any better for ourselves. It has never occurred to the majority of us that if we don't like what we see, we could just turn the television off!

I know, I know, it's far too revolutionary. Remain calm. I didn't mean it.

Circuitous

2007-01-28T18:30:00.000Z

So rarely do I ever go back and reflect on posts from my past, but today is different. I am able to bookend this post from a year ago with today's. What a nice bit of symmetry.

A friend and I attended the Guardian's Thames Whale Exhibition. It was a small set up with some photos and a video. While it did lack a lot of insightfulness (why did the whale swim up the Thames? what does this say about the future of whales in the wild? what can we do to prevent this? why did the whale have such a massive impact on us and why did Londoner's take to her so dearly? why on earth is a newspaper sponsoring this?) it did have the unique distinction of having the animal's actual bones. I never did realize quite how huge she was, well over six meters. These pictures (as with my original ones) don't do her any justice:

It's now be shipped off to the Natural History Museum, probably to be filed away and eventually forgotten. Goodbye, Beachy. I'll always remember you as one of my bizarre London experiences.

Peculating

2007-01-22T20:30:00.000Z

I'm just going to nip this in the bud right now:

Dear American Friends Sending Me Emails Asking...

Will you go pick me up a BMW motorbike?

No. I've got a lot of things on my to-do list this week; getting deported isn't one of them.

Love and Kisses,
Mo

Concours

2007-01-15T22:45:00.000Z

I suppose I should weigh in on this whole David Beckham move to L.A. Galaxy. Honestly, I was so unsurprised by the announcement my first reaction was, "Who? Oh, right, for some reason they decided to make the soccer league team names the stupidest ever!"

I never really got the fuss about Beckham. Since my whole time in the UK he seems like a modestly decent player at best. If he was that great at one point I imagine he's past his prime; if so then this is a great move for him. I'd like to make ₤1,000 an hour when I'm semi-retired or whatever it is. I imagine he's going there to play in an easy league, make a boatload of cash, trot Posh around Hollywood, and set up his football camps.

I certainly hope he isn't going there with the specific goal of changing American's minds about soccer, because he'll fail. We just don't like it; we're just not interested; we're just not amused or enthralled or excited. Yes, we are the only country in the whole damn world, we know, but we don't care anyway. I certainly didn't like it when I lived there. We feel the same about soccer as we do about hockey (except hockey has the added bonus of seriously bloody fights): it's boring. American's live by score inflation. Just look at baseball over the past hundred years and see how scores have risen. We'll tolerate tampered balls and steroid oozing players for a little more action, hell yes!

I enjoy soccer now. The environment here is much more exciting. To be in a pub for a great match is one of my truly favorite experiences since moving here. Sure, I miss 35 degree afternoons and cold beer at Camden Yards. But at the same time I certainly look forward to attending my first football match. I bet it's awesome.

However, my point is, Mr. Beckham, while I like football/soccer, I'm not a typical American because a) I voluntarily left America and b) I'm so multicultural now I've even taken a shine to cricket. I'm not your target audience. And I think you're going to be hard up for an audience of any kind over there.

P.S. What I'm most curious about is people reaction to his voice the first time they hear it!!!! It's hilarious!! Doesn't match the exterior AT ALL!

Cynosure

2007-01-05T21:00:00.000Z

I'm just back from America (lovely time) and quite confused about something: it seems to me that Celebrity Big Brother is a massive misnomer. Seriously, look at this list of "celebrities":

Jermaine Jackson
Danielle Lloyd
Ken Russell
Jo O'Meara
Leo Sayer
Shilpa Shetty
Carole Malone
Donny Tourette
Ian "H" Watkins
Cleo Rocos
Dirk Benedict

Right, I recognize one by the name (related to someone really famous) and one by face (yes, they showed S Club 7 TV programs in the States when I was younger, although I never really figured out why) and that's it. I guess I should recognize one for being on a very popular 80s American TV show, but I honestly didn't watch that enough to recognize him, maybe I was a little young at the time.

Other than that, zip. According to the Official Big Brother Website one's a Playmate (only one?), one's a Bollywood star, and one is apparently "famous" for boinking Peaches Geldof. Honestly, I'm not even 100% sure who she is, and if that's his claim to fame this is just sad. I know that our definition of celebrity has expanded considerably in the past 5 years, but this a lot is lamer than my lamest expectations. I'm quite relieved I won't have to waste time watching it!

Cadger

2006-12-27T15:00:00.000Z

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone reading this is having a healthy and happy holidays, and have finally made it out of Heathrow. I know I only missed that disaster by a few hours....

I have only recently discovered this: The Littlest Hobo. This was introduced to me by a Brit, and I didn't quite believe his tales about how popular it was. So I asked around, and would ALWAYS get the following exchange:

Monica: So, have you ever heard of this show called The Littles Hobo?
Standard British Person: Yes!! God I loved that show!! How did you not know about it? Wasn't it American?
M: No, I've never heard of it before and have done some research, and actually it's Canadian and--
SBP: Maybe tomorrow/I'll want to settle down!

Yes, they break into song. So, ladies and gentlemen, if you'd ever like to see an Englishperson sing, just ask them about The Littlest Hobo. I will admit, it's a pretty catchy theme song.

And may I present for those who have never seen it before, Strange Thing #53. I still can't figure out exactly what it is, maybe a poor man's Lassie?

Abasement

2006-12-10T13:00:00.000Z

I'm finding it much more difficult to get into the Ashes this year, most likely for two reasons:

1. They are being held in Australia this year, with the time difference making it impossible to both watch Ashes and keep job. Last year they were held in England, so we could listen to the radio in the lab, watch on our laptops in the office, and catch highlights at home. In fact, I think if I recall correctly, Channel Four was showing whole days of cricket on weekends. Anyway, with this series the matches start at around 11 pm and run until the morning. You can always tell the hard core fans, because they come in to work very bleary-eyed and really ticked off because....

2. England is horrible this year. In fact, they've already effectively lost the Ashes, and now we're stuck with three more tests of embarrassment because they have to play out the whole thing. A shame really.

But at least I can say I saw England win an Ashes in England and it was awesome.

I am also bringing all this up to announce that
I am going to Australia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, you will not believe this but I have been invited to speak at a conference in Wollongong at the end of March. (My work is turning out to be very controversial, and as such, interesting, and so this invitation is huge!!) Regular readers know that the farthest I've ever been from home is Athens, so this is quite a big deal for me.

I think I will go to the conference, then spend a week or so in Sydney (being completely out of money with only part of the trip paid for, and not much time for a proper holiday to go see everything in Australia I want to see) and then maybe a layover on the way back in Singapore. So if you have any Australia traveling advice please please please comment/email me!!!

Misapprehension?

2006-12-06T19:00:00.000Z

I feel like I really should say something about this whole Gwyneth Paltrow controversy (oh, what passes for controversy these days!) where she has allegedly said some anti-American things. I'm saying something because I actually really like her: aside from starring in my favorite movie of all time, Shakespeare in Love, she has really pretty hair and good taste in men. Along with her, I admire all actresses who seem talented, hard working, and actually put effort into their British accents. So I love Renee Zellweger for the same reasons because those actors who do foreign accents without effort and talent seem worthless to me. (Natalie Portman, I'm talking to YOU, you RUINED V for Vendetta with that crap Cockney/Irish/South African monstrosity. RUINED.)

Anyway, here is a quote earlier this year from Ms. Paltrow:

"I love living in the UK! Brits are far more intelligent and civilized than Americans."

And here is the more recent one that seems to be kicking up a fuss:

"I love the English lifestyle, it's not as capitalistic as America. People don't talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner... I like living here because I don't fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans."

What I have to say is:

A) She's right, and everyone knows it.

and

B) I think all us expats were hoping that with the recent changing of the guard in America we'd see less of this resurgent McCarthyism, where freedom of speech (the best part of living in America) is constantly being pounced on. I almost thought it was even getting safe enough to go back! Goes to show you just can't take the rednecks out of America. I mean, if we won't even let posh and pretentious movie stars who marry rock stars and flit overseas tell us exactly how they are better than us, what is the world coming to?? And furthermore, why must it be such a big deal?

Incommensurate

2006-11-30T00:30:00.000Z

This has got to be the worst pick-up line I've ever heard (in England or any place else):

Monica: *comes up to the bar to place her order*: Hi, two Kronenbourgs please.
Swarthy guy next to Monica: Are you French?

I can't decide who dislikes the French more, the English or the Americans. I also can't decide whom the French detest more: the English or the Americans. Either way, this line can't ever be one that ended in a successful fashion. My response was kind of to snort, "no" and move over two steps. Ugh.

Discern

2006-11-25T13:30:00.000Z

A dramatic retelling of events last weekend past:

Act I:
Our heroes, Monica and Huw, are exhausted from walking from Archway to Highgate to Hamspstead and are in desperate need of a sit down and gin. They walk into a local pub.

Monica: Wow, this pub is super nice!
Huw: Uh, yea, I guess so.
M: No, there's something about it, what it is? It's different here.
H: Sure... drinks?

Act II:
One hour and several drinks later. Huw returns from the bathroom.

Monica: Yes, it's something about the furniture I think. The walls are white, it's so clean in here, the furniture is so classy. I've never seen a pub like this.
Huw: You know what else is strange, in the loo, there is the nicest arrangement of flowers. Like fresh cut flowers.
M: Huh.

Act III:
Another hour later and still even more drinks on.

Huw: There are a lot of guys in here now.
Monica: Yes, and one of them over there is reading a magazine with some page inside that had the title, "Gay gay gay!"
H: Interesting.
M: Dude, is this a gay pub?
H: Hmmmm...
M: I've never heard in my life of a gay pub. Gay bars, yes.
H: I don't know, I don't think I've ever heard of one either.
M: Oh, man, that other guy is reading a magazine entitled, "Boyz"!
H: This explains some uncomfortably long eye contact I had with a guy earlier.
M: *starts laughing*
H: I can't believe I didn't notice. Look, this flyer on our table is advertising cabaret night!
M: Oh shit!
H: This also explains that chalkboard behind you as well.

M: Ohmigod that is the gayest Santa I've ever seen!!!
H: Look, now that group of old men have been passed that copy of "Boyz" and are reading it!
M: No bowl full of jelly on that one!
H: We are out of here.
M: This is hilarious!!
H: I bet there is a giant rainbow flag outside...

Monica and Huw stumble outside and look up at, indeed, a rainbow.

M: *laughing*
H: That's it, I need more drinks. To Camden!!

The End.

The point is that I didn't know Hampstead was some sort of gay mecca, the Dupont Circle of London if you will; Huw clearly did, so I blame him.

If you'd like to see more of our shenanigans, you are more than welcome to our
London Blogger Meet Up
this Saturday, at an aptly named pub called The Cock (yes, Huw chose that one too), 8 PM, Great Portland St, and see you there!

Prospectus

2006-11-20T16:30:00.000Z

Thank God some one's written it all down for me, saving me to make such a list myself:

I spotted this, and milled the purchase over for a few minutes. And in those few minutes I became inconsolably depressed.... I will, at some point, have to leave London. And in fact that will probably be about a year from now.

So that's it. I have one remaining year in London. It makes me sad just to write that. I'd like to stay, but various reasons such as career opportunity, visa issues, salary potential, debt crisis, and of course missing some people terribly that I just can't seem to shake all ads up to the fact that I have to leave.

This realization throws in to sharp relief all that I HAVEN'T done here. Word of advice: don't try to do a foreign adventure AND a PhD. I've spent the majority of my time here in a lab or a book. So it's time to sort myself out and see as much as I possibly can. A year is a pretty long time after all.

Unfortunately I've only accomplished nine of these 101 items. Granted it's a pretty pretentious list; some things on there clearly no one has done in their right mind. I won't be going night fishing in Clapham Common (#6), gay bowling at the Trocadero (#36), eating offal (#93) or steak (#101), but I will see what I can pull off.

Sheaf

2006-11-12T21:00:00.000Z

One of the best things of living abroad, or anywhere far from home actually, is unexpected care packages! I just got this bounty from my mum, with biscuits and Kraft mac and cheese for all:

(Not really "for all"... my flatmate sniffed, "wow, that's an interesting shade of orange, innit?")

Things are going a bit rough these days for the future Dr. Monica. My funding has dried up, my project is hitting snags, my writing feels wretched, my headaches are more frequent, and darkness closes in, both literally and figuratively. A whole weekend of American snacks definitely made me feel much better. Thanks mum!

Confrere

2006-11-07T08:30:00.000Z

#52: They love Friends.

To some very weird extremes.

Item: My first encounter was two years ago, hanging out with my roommates for one of the first times. We were going through each others DVD collection, when a squeal erupted, "Oh my God, you have Season 10!!" I saw the girl waving around the box and was perplexed, "Huh. Didn't that show start sucking about 7 seasons before this?" I was amazing at how everyone groped for the box.

Item: My new roommate has three Friends posters, one Friends calendar, one massive boxset containing each and every single Friends episodes, and (as I discovered yesterday for the first time) a Friends coffee mug. She's a lovely, lovely girl but I'm starting to wonder about her sanity.

Item: Look, everyone has a few select great stories. Stories that they save and tell to crowds at parties that everyone loves; these are your defining life stories. I have mine. My best one, my best story to date, is getting robbed at gunpoint in Adams Morgan a few years ago. It is a really great story, and I always get total devotion whilst telling it (especially to the English, who are far less likely to have their own gun stories). In fact the only time I've ever been interrupted was here, by a Brit, who actually said, "Oh yea! It's like that time on Friends where Monica's date thought 'gunpoint' is an actual place!! You know, two people robbed at GunPoint?!" "Ok," I thought, "I quit. If you people want to talk about TV episodes rather than hear actual life stories, I just give up!!"

I'm concerned that they see it as some sort of microcosm for New York, or even America itself. I wonder what happens to all these poor saps when they finally do make it to NYC; I guess these are the one wandering around, looking for the real Central Perk. But I guess it goes the other way as well..... Hopefully Americans don't see Wernham Hogg as the quintessential British workplace.

Constitutional

2006-11-01T10:00:00.000Z

A few weeks ago, a reader asked me why I never get my fat lazy ass go to East London (I'm paraphrasing of course!) and I realized that is a good question, so last Sunday I tubed it over to Old Street to check out the Columbia Road Flower Market. I thought this would be a momentous and overwhelming display of flowers, but turned out to only be about one block. Still nice though:

So after about ten minutes I realized I was stuck with a whole morning on my hands and nothing to do, in a whole different part of town (having never seen Old Street in the light of day) and so I started walking. At first I was just checking out that area, it's definitely more scruffy and funky, which I really like. Neat stuff on walls and all that...

... And way more ethnic, which in my book is a good thing....

...But still wasn't enough and I kept walking...

... And I thought, "well I've never seen that up close," so off I went....

"The gherkin really is one of the coolest modern buildings ever. I should do more London architecture posts, because I think I-- what the hell?"

"Hundreds of people standing around in the pouring rain? Huge TV screens? Red carpet?" I couldn't figure it out at the time, but turns out it was the opening of a new scientology centre in London.

One of them tried to hand me some literature as I pushed through the crowd. "Oh hells no, I'm out of here!!" And I scampered the rest of the way home. Not what was I was planning for the day, but I think it ended up being about four miles. Don't know how much of it was East London, but a good start, no?

Premature

2006-10-23T22:00:00.000+01:00

This is precisely what happens when you don't have the buffer of Halloween and Thanksgiving to stop the madness: Christmas in mid-October. It wouldn't surprise me if in five years it was Christmas in July for poor London. Honestly.

Amelioration

2006-10-20T12:00:00.000+01:00

Well it seems we are making some progress in finding American groceries in London! A new office mate introduced me to this site. Apparently his twin brother's girlfriend had just returned from a trip to Canada bearing Reese's Pieces. Ah... heaven help the foreigner who discovers these for the first time!

American Sweets

Of course, the seasoned ex-pat knows that these can be obtained (abet very very expensively) at Cyber Candy in Covent Garden. One pound for a tiny bag is the price you pay for following your heart overseas.

This is encouraging to see Kraft Macaroni & Cheese make an appearance, although four dollars a box is mildly horrifying. I haven't bought anything from these sites yet, but I will if I don't get my connections from back in American to send me some Mac & Cheese soon!!

St. Katharine Docks

2006-10-10T22:00:00.000+01:00

In recent memory, has there ever been a more beautiful autumn weekend than this past one? I snuck away to St. Katharine Docks, one of my favorite places in the city. It's right behind Tower Bridge but feels a million miles away; so quiet compared to the noisy areas around it. Something about the enclosed neighborhood, the million pound yachts, the Starbucks peninsula.... Lovely. I also recently discovered a Waitrose there, my new guilty pleasure, so I fortunately will be spending a lot more time here!

Interim

2006-10-07T12:00:00.000+01:00

#50: Whilst

The joy of being a PhD student in the midst of writing is that I have several people correcting my work. Several British people. Northern to be specific. They'll give me quite a hard time when I lapse into American spelling ("what is this characteriZation? What's the zed doing there? What is this word?"). What I find is that they love to change my "while"s into "whilst"s!

We have this word, whilst, in America, I'm sure we do. I just don't think I've come across it in anything written since the turn of the century. It's so old-school sounding. People here use it all the time, in place of "while." Dictionary.com lists them both as conjuctions but with "while" as the Archaic one!

So who knows? I hear arguments all the time about which English is more correct, I tend to think it must be the British English, but I hear compelling reasoning American English too. I'm not a linguist or whomever would know this, do you?

And whilst we are at it, what's up with "Zed"? (#51) No one ever says, "zee." How did that come about?

Prague!

2006-09-25T22:45:00.000+01:00

Disappeared to Prague for four amazing days. I fell in love with this city, it had such a gorgeous old world, post-communist feel about it. (My first time past what once was the Iron Curtain saw that capitalism/customer service were definitely not on the forefront of their attitudes.) Vegetarian food was surprisingly easy to come by as well, as long as I steered clear of traditional Czech fare. I was fascinated by the architecture most of all:

Týn Church at night

Looking into Hradčany from Staré Mesto across the Vltava

My favorite building!

Parliament in Wallenstein Palace

St John of Nepomuk on the St. Charles Bridge

Inside St. Vitus's Cathedral

Me checking out Prague from St. Vitus's Cathedral in Prague Castle

Commemoration

2006-09-19T23:30:00.000+01:00

Two years ago on this date I packed up what was left of my meager belongings, said a tearful farewell to my family at Dulles Airport and left on a jet plane for London permanently. I'm surprised to say that I am still here, considering my state of mind those first 24 hours... I was so lost and confused. Two years on and I now call London, "home."

I won't bother with poor attempts at summarizing my time here or waxing poetic about how much I love life in London. I'll only state one example of how these past two years have changed me:

I now definitely have a tinge of British accent.

As one snooty officemate said to me last month, "You know, your voice doesn't annoy the hell out of me anymore. That awful American accent has definitely softened a great deal."

Relocation Relocation

2006-09-13T22:45:00.000+01:00

Once again I have moved. Still in the same dormitory but in a different room. The views are decidedly better:

A little hint of OXO Tower is better than nothing.

The only thing more depressing than the fact that I have now moved FIVE times in two years is the rest of my view from this room.

Yes, that is where I work. I now spend nearly every waking moment either in that building or looking at it. I suppose I could shut the curtains but I am keen on getting as much light as I can so they stay open. The building glares down at me, reminding me of a PhD that I already spend at least 12 hours a day contemplating anyway. I have the feeling this is going to wear on my soul.

I'm also ground level on quite a busy street that leads into the roundabout where the IMAX lives. It's incredibly noisy but I prefer it to a dull and quiet (and tree-less) courtyard; at least now I FEEL like I live in a city of 7 or so million. But when a double decker goes by I feel a little too close to the rest of the London public as those on the top are level with my room and look at me in a bemused sort of way.

Not sure if it's exactly onwards and upwards, but it is slightly larger and relatively cheap so I'll complain no more.

P.S. I've finally installed a Google search engine on my blog, so go ahead and knock yourselves out.

Dyad

2006-09-03T10:30:00.000+01:00

#49: Ant and Dec

My PhD is at the point right now where I am having to write a great deal. Rather than try to concentrate amidst the constant chatter of the Gay Mafia* I choose to write from home. This introduces me to daytime English TV when I take writing breaks. In the past I have come home for Home and Away, my favorite soap but that is the limit of my exposure until now. Aside from that and those Place in the Sun/ by the Sea shows, there is not much (until Deal or no Deal in the late afternoon, of course!)

I hear a lot about Ant and Dec, somehow they have worked their way into the UK pop culture psyche. And yet in the two years that I have been here I haven't actually ever seen or heard of them doing anything. There was that alien autopsy movie, but that's it. I never see them on TV or read of them in magazines, and don't think I could pick them out of a crowd, but the frequency with which the phrase "Ant and Dec" is thrown around is quite alarming. Who are they and what do they do?

Thinking about this post made me realize all the other television duos that exist here. There are the two that tell you how to dress, the two that clean stuff, the two that help you buy a new house.... I wonder what it is about British test audiences that make them response more to groups of hosts rather than one. Pop World/ T4 is always done in twos. There's probably some sublime social commentary to be made here, but I'm not quite sure what it is. I'll have to stick to my pharmaceutical chemistry for now....

*Long time readers know that I have a disproportionate number of gay men in my office, and lately they have acquired a few extremely adoring and vocal fag hags. They are all wonderful people individually, but as a group squawk and squeal like a pack of sea lions at such an alarmingly loud volume I now have to study somewhere else.

Addendum

2006-08-31T00:00:00.000+01:00

The other thing that me, and loads of other people that read this site, come here searching for is American-type breakfast foods. I found that Waitrose carried Aunt Jemima pancake mix with Sainsbury's, etc, even carrying maple syrup on their shelves. It's all well and good, but during a raging hangover, who wants to cook that noise? I'd like pancakes (not crêpes), waffles (not with ice cream, please for the love of God, not as a desert but as breakfast), French toast (eggy bread?) omelets, and hashbrowns (the kind from shredded fresh potatoes, not deep friend frozen triangles of reconstituted potato-like substance) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Dammit, now I'm hungry.

Any suggestions would be most helpful.

(I've given up on grits and biscuits, I really have. Some things are not meant to be.)

Mezcal

2006-08-25T22:00:00.000+01:00

Wow you guys really love to thrash on Fergie! Good for you.

So I've gone and done a foolish thing. I'm sure almost all bloggers do this post at some time: the I-put-a-reader-counter-on-my-blog post. It's particularly addicting for me, as I am a statistics whore (yea, Freakanomics was like porn for me.)

Now I can tell how people get to my blog and where they come from. I get more American readers than Brits (I always wondered about that) with Switzerland and France next. (Lots of exotic countries too, like Brazil, Peru, and Malta!) You guys are 8 times as likely to use Windows over Macs, and most of you have me bookmarked rather than search engine'd yourselves here.

But the searches are killing me! Absolutely hilarious. The vast majority are "Monica/London/American/blog" or some combination thereof (most of which bring me up first in Google! I'm shocked!) But my random favorites are:

oh fluffy sheep are wonderful
the side of the hallway British people walk on
the 9 scones of henry the arse
robbie williams mohawk

How these people came to me I have no idea.

One thing in particular that draws readers here is the search for certain types of food. The biggest is definitely Mexican food. People are searching for the best, most authentic Mexican food in London, which is notoriously difficult to find here. I haven't been to many places (I am a poor, starving student after all) but joint I haunt is Cafe Pacifico in Covent Garden. It came recommended to by a Californian, it's a 15 minute walk from my flat, and they serve the best house margaritas I've ever had: tart, not too sweet, perfectly salty, and extra strong.

So, let's have other Londoners recommend their favorite Mexican as well. Previously people have mentioned the Texas Embassy, Texas Lone Star, Tex-Mex Tapas, and El Panzon (who seems to have taken up to unauthorized advertising on my blog!) Let's not deprive these poor, hungry Americans of proper salsa and burritos any longer!

Update #1:
So I went to Crazy Homies on Westbourne Park Rd last month. Totally delicious! Amazing corn chips, baked fresh, warm and salty. Great salsas, lovely soft tortillas, appropriate beans and cheese, the whole nine.

The only thing, and this was seriously bizarre, was that one of the salsas and my wet burro smacked of cinnamon! Loads and loads of cinnamon. It was the strangest thing. Not bad actually, but I definitely wasn't used to it so I dubbed it inauthentic.

crazyhomies.co.uk

Update #2:
Went to Taqueria in Notting Hill the other weekend, amazing! Not very traditional, I'd say "dressed up" Mexican food, fancy little plates you know, kind of like Mexican tapas. I wasn't over the moon with their house margaritas, but I had enough to get drunk off them, so can't complain. Very good, very fresh, really wonderful place.

coolchiletaqueria.co.uk/

Interestingly enough, I guess they are related to Cool Chili, who I am well accustomed with from my days of living next door to Borough Market. They have a stall there, which was the only place for ages that I could find black beans. They always have good stuff.

coolchile.co.uk/

Inadvertence

2006-08-18T23:00:00.000+01:00

Dear Fergie,

Hi, my name's Monica. I don't know very much about you, other than you are a singer/actress. I assume you can read and write, although I imagine you do very little of either since you are a star now, and probably have real important activities to do such as picking out outfits, memorizing song lyrics with dance moves, and holding on to that yummy boyfriend you have managed to snag.

So I get that research probably isn't a big passion of yours. (We can't all be PhD students after all!) However, if it were me releasing my first solo album, and I was shooting the cover of the very first single from that very first album, which is about a bridge as far as I can gather, and I was getting photographed in front of that bridge, I'd sure as hell make sure it was the right damn bridge.

I suppose one could argue that the song is, in fact, about London bridges, i.e. any number of bridges that one can find in London spanning the Thames. But I don't agree, because London Bridge is a proper noun, and you never heard one speak of "New York bridges," etc. So a big thanks from those of us across the pond for continuing the myth that the bridge behind you in the picture actually is London Bridge. As someone who used to live 100 yards from the real London Bridge, I got secret delight from the crestfallen looks on tourists faces when the actual bridge was pointed out to them. "Yes," I'd muse silently, "Americans really are that dumb."

Just a little heads up.
Cheers,
Monica

P.S. This song is awful.

Ireland!

2006-08-13T11:30:00.000+01:00

Don Laoghaire

Powerscourt

Dad and Sis at Ladies View

Glendalough

Glendalough

Kilkenny

From the Rock of Cashel

Trim Castle

Cliffs of Moher

Non sequitur

2006-08-03T22:45:00.000+01:00

As I mentioned earlier, my supervisor has left the university. He is still my supervisor however, and is far from absent from my life. I now get phone calls instead of a random appearance followed by, "Monica. Office. Now."

Quite a lot has been happening with my project lately (essentially, either I'm doing something horribly wrong or I'm about to disprove a theory that's about 50 years old. Either way I see a challenge ahead!) and so when he called today I thought that we would have plenty to discuss. About five minutes into the call...

Me: Right. So what I think must be happening is the solvent is interacting with the membrane or the drug is becoming entrapped in the membrane. I'm pretty sure it's the solvent and here's why--
Him: Do you watch Celebrity Love Island?
Me:............. What?

My supervisor is a great hulking lug of a man. He barks orders. He uses the word "fuck" a lot. He plays rugby. He might be the Gordon Ramsey of pharmaceuticals. He is, in other words, not the type of man one would normally associate with a reality TV show that strands C-list celebrities on a Fijian island where they are systematically eliminated over time unless they make out with someone. (I think.)

The British and their reality TV shows. I guess America is the same, but I don't think Survivor matches the intensity of Big Brother UK for nationwide obsession. But America likes to do lots and lots of little reality shows that only last a few weeks and are quickly forgotten. Joe Millionaire and Playing it Straight come to mind. But Big Brother here is absolutely massive (#48) like front-page news massive, and so this series I thought, "what the hell I have a TV and probably enough brain cells to keep up, I'll check it out." I was pretty into it until fortunately I went to Greece and broke the spell. Upon returning I realized that if there's anyone more annoying on this planet than Richard I don't want to know about it and cut myself off cold turkey. Good thing too because I'm pretty sure this BB lasts about four months.

Me:............. What?
Him: Yea, I can't stop watching it, fucking addicted. Need to talk about it.
Me: Oh, just go get an OK! magazine and sort yourself out.

Tamale

2006-07-29T02:30:00.000+01:00

London was not made for heat. I generally think London "heat waves" are adorable little spikes in temperature. But then again, I'm a walking commuter and have never had to get on the tube in summer rush hour; due to this I'm quite sure, as I've been told often enough, "[I] don't know what pain is!"

Fair enough. This summer has been worse than the last however. I'm trapped in my tiny dorm room, which doesn't have air conditioning (most people here don't have air con) but also the windows don't open (which I'm sure most people's windows do.) Hence, long after your tube ride is over, I'm sweltering the night away, waking up drenched in my own sweat several times in the night. I nicked a thermometer from work, it has been 34C (93F) in my room for the past three days.

I'll survive, and fondly look back on this post in late January, when the holidays have gone and I haven't seen the sun in four weeks and have to wear a scarf in the office or else my head will freeze off. I'll survive, but I'm not entirely sure London will.

Tonight, for example, we canceled dinner birthday plans off Oxford St due to fear of power outages. EDF, the French firm in charge of London's electricity (whose bright idea was it to put the French in charge?) claim it to be too hot to run properly, and plus all the demand of air con units (who are you people and why don't you invite me round for tea?) has knackered the system. This affected King's College as well, with a power outage on Sunday rampaging the email servers and the email is still not working as of today, Friday!!! (Every time I get the inkling that I attend a world-class, first-rate university I am promptly reminded otherwise.)

In fact my own little Dell Inspiron 1100 is suffering a similar fate. I just placed the thermometer under the fan on the bottom that kicks out the heat, it read 44C (111F). Sweet Jesus.

Athens II

2006-07-20T12:00:00.000+01:00

So yea Athens was a cracking great time. Amazing. Had so much fun. So at request, and a convenient way to sum up the trip, I'll go back and address my ever-so-embarrassing fears.

1. Two weeks is a long time.
Just about long enough. I certainly wasn't bored and didn't get to see any museums, but I was definitely ready to go home at the end.

2. A really long time to be in Athens for a vegetarian.
I'm not going to lie, that was a helluva lot of Greek salad. But I did manage to find the one vegetarian restaurant, Eden, and it was delicious, with dishes like vegetarian Moussaka with Soya instead. Yummers. I ate there thrice. I also found the Noodle Shop, a with a "polyasian" menu. Best fried rice of my life. Ate there four times. Considering breakfast and lunch were provided, it got repetitive but I was always happy ...

3. I only get one day off, with 12 days on. Not exactly a holiday.
That was the truth. And of course it rained that day so no beach for us! Went to Pireaus, which was actually pretty nice once we got away from the cruise ship landing docks and to the more secluded harbors.

4. My lodging is 3.87 euros a night, yes I'm sleeping in the University of Athens dorms.
And they were fantastic!! Brand new, built for the Olympics, and I had a balcony with a view of the Parthenon!

5. Anything that's 3.87/night probably doesn't have A/C or decent beds.
Would you believe that they were fully equipped with A/C but had it turned off prior to our arrival?? It was extremely hot in the room, we all would have gladly paid a few more Euro to switch it on, but alas. Slept with the balcony doors open which didn't help much with the temperature and was worse with the noise. What is with Greek people and driving? As soon as a light turns green they ALL honk! Surely if everyone is honking, then everyone sees the light is green and drives forward, no? I hadn't seen driving this frantic and reckless since Rome.

6. I am going with someone I work with, but I don't like her very much (and probably vice versa.) She's a perfectly nice person but we just don't get on.
Meh.... Whatever.

7. She's extremely negative about the trip and I feel her emotions infecting me.
She was in fact, so preemptively negative that she opted to only stay a week, thus cutting her time in half and leaving the course a week early. I heard that after she got back she was quite upset to have to come back, because she was having such a great time. AHAHA, that alone was worth it. Oh, she also brought her own toilet paper, convinced that they don't have any in Greece. Nutter.

8. It appears to be very poorly organized (i.e. introduction welcome dinner being pushed back to another night, leaving us on our own the first night.)
Definitely. I guess there was a uni strike before we arrived, throwing everything in to chaos. I forget how things are run on the continent though. They just don't care. Hell, they smoke in the QC labs we visited. Yes, smoked cigarettes with open flames in laboratories with flammable solvents. I learned they are a little more laid back there....

9. This is the farthest east I've ever been in my life.
And it was wicked!

10. Worried about reading street signs, etc in a non-Romance language, yikes!
That was definitely a problem. But if you are Greek I don't think you're ever that concerned with finding an exact location at the exact time you are supposed to be there. So why bother with street signs (in any language actually)?

11. The current temperature is 90F with 50% humidity, after living two years in London, that scares me.
It was hot but a lot BLOODY COLDER THAN LONDON!

12. My professor and I got in a huge row about it. It has not been a good few weeks at work.
He has since quit the university, and has gone from being a looming threat roaming the hallways who could pounce at any moment to a once-a-month prearranged one hour meeting that I can be fully prepared for. I think my shoulders are finally starting to un-hunch.

13. People have been telling me that Athens is loud and dirty and not very nice at all.
And everytime I'd meet a Greek person they would ask, "How long are you here, and where else are you going?" and I'd tell them that I was two full weeks in Athens only and they'd always offer their most sincere apologies and deepest regrets that I wouldn't be going to the islands. But I really liked Athens! Yes, dirty! Yes, noisy! Yes, people screaming across the street and out of their cars! Buses and mopeds ready to flatten you while you stand on the sidewalk! Oppressive heat with dirty A/C liquid falling on your head! Smog!

And I loved it! I was there two weeks and only saw two McDonalds and one Starbucks... for a city of 5 million! I thought it retained a lot of character and individuality. When I go back (and I WILL go back) I will definitely visit the islands. But I can't wait to see Athens again too.

14. Once I'm out of the country, England will probably win the World Cup and I'll miss it all.
Now that was the fear talking. What the hell was I thinking? I did get to spend a lot of time with Italians, Portuguese, and Germans, what a blast! We didn't miss a single match!

15. I'll be spending my 29th birthday completely alone (or at best, hopefully with some nice strangers...)
And they were so lovely. My present was to drag everyone to (our first trip) to the vegetarian restaurant, where they all promptly sung me Happy Birthday in their native language all at once and I blew out the candle on the table. I really had such a blast with all the other students on the course; it was so fun to hang out with so many different cultures at one time and not once did they pester me about American foreign policy!

Trying just to understand them half the time was the best part.

Italian: I need *something, something* past tooth.
Me: What?
I: past tooth
M: Whaaat?
I: *makes brushing motion over this mouth*
Me: Oooooooooh, toothpaste!

Me: Oh, aren't you going to finish your pizza?
Dutch: No, I don't like the ... rim bits.

Me: Yea the rooms are really nice.
German: Yes. But um.... um.... I don't remember the word.
M: Give it a go, I'll help.
G: Um... Is the cold air producing machine working in your room?
M: *gaffawing noise as Monica falls out of her chair laughing*

Loved every minute of it. Truly fantastic.

Athens!

2006-07-16T10:30:00.000+01:00

The Plaka

Halfway up the Acropolis

Lycabettus Hill

Parthenon!

The harbor in Piraeus

I could post dozens of sunset pictures.... Heavenly.

The ancient Acropolis and the brand new Metro trains

The pictures turned out fantastic, except for when we hiked the Acropolis. It was so sunny and bright that I couldn't see my little digital camera screen. The bloody camera had somehow been switched to the black and white setting, which I didn't realize until back in a cafe an hour after I'd hiked back down again. I spent hours setting up the shots with the amazing blue sky, white marble, and green mountains in the background only to find them all ruined, RUINED! Oh, I was so angry, but not nearly angry enough to climb all the way back up and repeat. Should be getting pictures soon from the rest of the people on the conference, and I'm sure they've got some gorgeous shots....

Enlightened

2006-07-14T02:30:00.000+01:00

I'm back!!! I had the most amazing time of my life! Athens was amazing, and the people I was with were even better! I'm too exhausted to write now, but trust me plenty of pictures and stories are on their way. Thanks to everyone for all their helpful advice and comments, you guys rock!

Embarkation

2006-06-30T21:00:00.000+01:00

This will be my last post before I head to Athens for two weeks. I'm being sent on a school conference, some EU deal called Socrates, where a bunch of pharmaceutical PhDs are treated to lectures by the EU's best pharmacy professors.

Sounds pretty cool, huh? I was really excited at first but now am feeling extremely anxious for reasons I'm not entirely sure of. Might as well list them out, and have all you readers laugh at them/reassure me.

1. Two weeks is a long time.
2. A really long time to be in Athens for a vegetarian.
3. I only get one day off, with 12 days on. Not exactly a holiday.
4. My lodging is 3.87 euros a night, yes I'm sleeping in the University of Athens dorms.
5. Anything that's 3.87/night probably doesn't have A/C or decent beds.
6. I am going with someone I work with, but I don't like her very much (and probably vice versa.) She's a perfectly nice person but we just don't get on.
7. She's extremely negative about the trip and I feel her emotions infecting me.
8. It appears to be very poorly organized (i.e. introduction welcome dinner being pushed back to another night, leaving us on our own the first night.)
9. This is the farthest east I've ever been in my life.
10. Worried about reading street signs, etc in a non-Romance language, yikes!
11. The current temperature is 90F with 50% humidity, after living two years in London, that scares me.
12. My professor and I got in a huge row about it. It has not been a good few weeks at work.
13. People have been telling me that Athens is loud and dirty and not very nice at all.
14. Once I'm out of the country, England will probably win the World Cup and I'll miss it all.
15. I'll be spending my 29th birthday completely alone (or at best, hopefully with some nice strangers...)

Alright, I'm done whinging about it (excellent British word: whinging.) I imagine that it's just a fear of the unknown and I'll be settled once I'm there.

Wish me luck!

Fortuitous

2006-06-24T18:00:00.000+01:00

My life seems to be slowly but surely falling apart. Nothing is working out for me, and I am trying my very hardest to keep it together. One of the things that has been bothering me for a while, and I alluded to two posts ago, was that I missed Americans. The thought of this came to me last month, when I went out to Chelsea to meet a work mate's girlfriend, who is Australian, and her friends, who were all Australian. In fact they all grew up in Adelaide, and were now all here together; this most amazing network of support and social companionship for each other. And that made me realize that all nationalities seem to be represented here, all except Americans. Sometimes I feel like The Last Unicorn.

So imagine my surprise today when I run into one in the halls elevator while moving (they make us move rooms during the summer for no specific reason.) He was already in when I boarded and put on a great big smile and dove straight into moving small talk. His accent took me back, so I asked where he was from.

Him: Washington, D.C. actually.
Me: No way! You're never going to guess were I'm from!
Him: D.C.! That's cool!
Me: Yea I grew up in Bowie, Maryland.
Him: Ahaha! I live in Bowie, Maryland!
Me: No way!
Him: Yes! I have a house in Pointer Ridge!
Me: Guess which part of Bowie I'm from!
Him: Pointer Ridge!!
Me: My folks live in the Tall Oaks neighborhood!
Him: Oh man! My name's Tim, let's hang out!

So how funny is that. I never would have dreamed to be in the UK and meet some one from the P-section of Bowie. So I may potentially have an American mate after all. I think that might be so nice.

The thing I've learned about living abroad is that homesickness never really seems to go away. It might ebb or take other forms, but it always manages to loom somehow. It's particularly acute right now, and I hate it.

Muttonhead

2006-06-12T22:00:00.000+01:00

Ah, another person to add to the Strangers Who Are Assholes for No Reason List.

This weekend I was patiently waiting in line to buy a train ticket at Richmond station...

A woman suddenly barges in front of me and starts screaming at the man at the ticket window, "YOU MORON YOU NEVER SAID THE DISTRICT LINE WAS DOWN I'VE WASTED THIRTY MINUTES OF MY DAY WAITING FOR THIS TRAIN I DEMAND A REFUND" and started thundering on the glass partition. Everyone in the station has stopped and turned to stare at this monster.... "I HAVE TWO LITTLE ONES TO LOOK AFTER, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO READ SIGNS, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME" and rants on and on about how being a parent means she doesn't have time for these shenanigans.

While waiting for the man to give her her money back, she turns to me as I appear to be someone she could commiserate with. She even has the nerve to say to me, "I have two little ones, I don't have the time to read signs like these" and jerks her thumb at the very large sign posted IN the window that states the situation. Several responses are running through my head:

Obviously you've seen the sign, retard.
or
There's always a replacement bus, why don't you get on that and get the hell out of my face?
or
Since you didn't notice the eight highly noticeable signs between the front door and the train track like I did, perhaps you did notice that you were the only moron waiting for a train?
or
Yes that's true. Why shouldn't you have screaming children bothering normal people trying to enjoy a meal in a restaurant? Why shouldn't you repeatedly clip the people in the ankles with your strollers that equal the size and complexity of a M1 Abrams tank? Why should you have to read the same signs as everyone else? You're an absolute Queen by the mere default that you managed to reproduce, why shouldn't you and your kin be treated as such? I think I speak for everyone here when I say not only is your idiotic presence a treat but we are all looking forward for the genetically-linked, equally-idiotic children you're about to unleash on us in about 15 years.

I'm not totally cold hearted; of course I like children. But parents are a different beast. I blame the invention of Baby Gap. Once you start accessorizing your four month old your brain becomes completely warped into thinking it's okay to behave like an utter ass in the name of The Almighty Childhood, and once that's justified then the feeling of empowerment is never ending.

Ascertained

2006-06-08T22:00:00.000+01:00

Wow, check out the dates on the right, I've now been blogging for two years!

So in honor of that, today I thought I would talk a little bit about me because ever since I put that email address up I've been getting a lot of questions that I thought were explained by the sidebar on the right but apparently not. Here are answers to the top four queries:

1. I'm a student and therefore I am here on a student visa. It's the easiest and most practical way to get to this country, short of marrying someone it seems the only way.

2. Yes, London is absurdly expensive; yes I struggle to live here. As a post-grad student this year I am sponsored by a pharmaceutical company who allow me a stipend. While I appreciate not going into anymore tuition fee debt, the stipend is, in fact, about 1/5 of what I was making in the States at my proper job. To compensate I live in student housing which I find massively embarrassing at my age (29 years next month). Fire drills aside, it's very convenient as I pay 100 quid a week and have no travel expenses because I am a one minute walk from work.

3. No, I don't hate America. We were having a turbulent relationship when I left, sure. But 20 months of space have helped me realize all the great things about it, daft presidents, religious extremism, and SUVs aside.

4. Yes I do miss Americans. Definitely not always mind you but every once in a while I long for a loud, pushy, obnoxious, take-no-prisoners type of attitude; sometimes politeness and tippy-toeing just doesn’t get it done.

There you go. Please do continue to read and write to this goofy little blog.

Maladroit

2006-05-29T21:30:00.000+01:00

So I am back from a week in America. It's nice to go home at a time other than Christmas which, aside from of course being the most magical time of the year, is also hell on Earth for travellers and weather and trying to see people. I'd rather not travel at Christmas ever again, frankly.

And I'd most definitely not travel British Airways again either. The last three times I've flown them I've been most unhappy:

1. Last Christmas to Washington, D.C.: After being in the air nearly two hours without the TVs turning on, the pilot comes on to announce that there was some sort of accident and we'd lost electrical power. Not the kind to fly the plane apparently, but the kind that powers the TVs, reading lights, and ovens for food. No hot food! Nothing but freezing cold nasty sandwiches in the dark. That was absolutely no fun.

2. From London from Lisbon: The scariest flight moment of my life to date.

3. This last flight to DC: Flight was delayed an hour, ok whatever. They then boarded us, had us hunker down for the flight, and then announced that a part of the plane needed to be repaired, that the order for the part had been sent out and he'd get back to us in about an hour. I'm sorry, why are we on the plane then? Sure enough the part showed up after about an hour, and then it took another hour to install the part and test it. Hey, I'm all for safety checks but I'm not sure how my being on the plane all that time facilitates the process. Boo.

And of course I didn't learn my lesson from #1 and forgot to buy food and water. They didn't show any movies or offer anything to eat, and I nearly had to wrestle a stewardess to the ground to get what ultimately turned out to be a shot glass of aqua. Gee, thanks for small favors.
This is all why I hate BA now.

The only good news of the flying was that I added another celebrity to my London Celebrity Watch List:

7. The Darkness

My suspicions were confirmed when a young girl walked up to them as asked if she could take a picture and they said, "No." Huh, I didn't think they were quite famous enough for that kind of attitude!

Richmond!

2006-05-14T20:30:00.000+01:00

Perhaps does not quite count as "getting out of London" but it sure felt light-years away. So gorgeous and peaceful. If there's any place prettier than the English countryside in summer I don't want to know about it!

Canicular

2006-05-05T22:45:00.000+01:00

Finally! Summer has arrived! Flip flops to work, sleeping with the windows open and fan on, and lunches outside in the park with my shoulders slightly sunburnt. It seemed to take much longer to get here than when compared to last year, and it's certain not to last long, however it's amazing what a few sunny days can do to my disposition. I wonder if natural born Londoners feel the same: the Standard had the headline yesterday of "HEATWAVE" and stories of how the tube was shut down. Yes, one day at 81F/27C certainly qualifies as a heatwave here. Silly brits.

Brighton!

2006-04-21T22:30:00.000+01:00

This weekend I went to Brighton. Friday was supposed to be rainy and Sunday was supposed to be rainy, so I opted for Saturday, which was .... rainy. Like the kind of rain where it's pouring so hard and it's so windy that it's coming down sideways, rendering my umbrella useless.

Royal Pavilion (amazing inside!)

There are like roller coasters at the end of this thing!

Ugh.

I had fun, going inside the Aquarium and seeing the turtles, the interior of the Royal Pavilion was awesome (no pictures allowed, sorry!) and bopping around the Laines. I suppose the part I liked most was that after only an hour I was outside of London and on the beach. So much fresh air.

Espial

2006-04-14T20:30:00.000+01:00

Who oh who did I spot today next to me sifting through tops at Miss Selfridge's? Carmen Electra! I noticed her coat first, it was gorgeous. I walked past, looked at her face and thought, "No way...." That's when I noticed a guy, dressed in all black, who certainly wasn't shopping but just following her at a distance and watching her every move. Definitely a bodyguard. (Why must they always wear black?)

This brings my London celebrity sightings to a total of 6:

1. Martin Freeman
2. Goldie Hawn
3. Kurt Russell
4. Ivana Trump
5. Charlotte Church
6. Carmen Electra

I like that Martin Freeman was my first, as seeing him really stuck home that I was in England now. (And when I tell Americans this they always respond, "Don't you mean Morgan Freeman?" No, no I don't.)

I feel like the number should be a lot higher seeing as how I've been here 19 months now since London seems such a bastion for celebs. Gwyneth, Madonna, Gwen all live here now. Surely I can score higher!

Odds

2006-04-07T20:00:00.000+01:00

My office picks for the Grand National are Juveigneur and Cornish Rebel. I didn't get to pick them myself, but threw two quid in the jar and got my two picks at random. As of today they were both 25-1 odds, not too bad I think because it always seems that the 5-1's never win like everyone thinks they will and the 400-1's is just absurd wishfulness.

Somehow I totally missed all this last year even though office mates swear up and down "everyone was in the pool." This definitely seems to be a national tradition. Apparently it's a horribly difficult course and some horses don't even finish. But they said it's not as a bad now since animal rights activists went to town on it and ruined it like they ruin everything (hey hey, vegetarian's are allowed to make those jokes!!) Looks tough, tougher than any steeple chase I've seen in America...

At least one guy from here predicts one of mine as a winner! Wish me luck!

Morass

2006-04-05T23:00:00.000+01:00

Ah the serendipity. This is one of those things that I've seen on just about every other London blogger's site; I never went searching for it. I just assumed if I ever ran across it I'd be more of a Londoner than if I didn't; and if I didn't then it wasn't meant to be.

Make of that what you will, either way, makes for fun pictures!

Italy!

2006-03-26T23:45:00.000+01:00

Venice:

Florence:

Had a cracking good time. Good food, loads of vino, tons of great art..... I really don't want to be back here, nose in a book. I am so SICK of grad school right now.

Actually, one of the nicest things about Italy, and something that has changed since the last time I visited, is that they had banned smoking! I never thought I would see that in a place like Italy, but it was lovely. It made me thing about how archaic London is sometimes. So I was happy to come home to the news that it would be outlawed here.... in 2007! Jeez, right about the time I leave I bet.

S.A.D.

2006-03-08T23:08:00.000Z

I don't think I've ever gone this long without posting without a good reason before. Am just a bit down, as I find this the worst time of year in London. The weather's been just awful. I like Spring, but only because I hate Winter so so much and Spring means the end of Winter, and which all becomes a gateway to Summer, my ultimate goal. But this time of year is so tough, because you can sort of sense that it should be getting warmer, and the sun is staying out later, but you know it's going to keep on with the cold through May or even June.

At least Sunday it was so damn bright I was blinded. See the sun reflecting off the Gherkin:

And today's quite warm, even though it will be colder tomorrow I feel cheered up already. So I guess I am well on my way to surviving my second London winter. That's an encouraging thought.

Alright then, off to Northern Italy I go. See you in two weeks!

Esurient

2006-02-28T23:00:00.000Z

After living here now seventeen months, I thought perhaps my list of Strange Things was ready for retirement, as nothing really surprises me like it used to. That was until today, when I came home to six girls in my kitchen making huge batches of crêpes for lunch. That's right it's.....

#46: Pancake Day!

I was raised Christian pretty much by default and only went to church about four times (sorry Mum), so a lot of rituals escape me. I know there's Mardi Gras, Lent, and Easter and that's about it. Apparently in this country, Fat Tuesday is Shrove Tuesday, something I vaguely recall hearing before, but also it is know as Pancake Day. Which is celebrated by, yup, eating pancakes. Someone first told me it had to do with The War, but no these pancakes just contain ingredients that you are not supposed to have during Lent. So you eat what you have left in pancake form before the deadline.

Anyone who knows me knows that breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, and I will in fact eat breakfast food throughout the day. Living in Britain therefore is really rough in this aspect, as American breakfast is quite different especially for a vegetarian. Typical Brit breakfast is what? beans, toast, mushrooms, eggs, bangers, bacon all fried up in one pan. Nasty! American breakfast foods I long for include waffles, biscuits, omelets, grits, hashbrowns, and of course pancakes.

So thought I hit the jackpot but no. These are basically crêpes! You add lemon and sugar I guess and it seems more a desert. Not the thick, chewy, starchy American pancakes, with butter and maple syrup. Such a shame.

Unctuous

2006-02-24T23:30:00.000Z

The rumors are true....

Now showing in Waterloo Station, approximately three minute walk from my door. It takes a lot of willpower and tenacity to complete a PhD, but I have the feeling that staying away from this place will be a hundred times harder.

Transatlantic

2006-02-17T08:00:00.000Z

I have a friend coming over from America today, and I love when friends come over from America. Not only do I get loads of treats (this time I've been promised Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and Twizzlers, yum!) but it's also nice to touch base with America in general and feel out what's going on in my homeland. I think I try to stay in touch, but there are some things you just can't know without actually being there.

My list of questions include, "Why aren't people making a bigger fuss over Cheney SHOOTING someone?"

"What's the outlook on the whole Muslim cartoon thing; is it causing an outrage, or did Americans even notice?"

"Why are they called The Pussycat Dolls when there only seems to be one main Doll?"

Any queries you'd like answered??

Petulant

2006-02-15T20:45:00.000Z

Interesting phenomenon going on at work these days. As usual in autumn, a new crop of PhD students have arrived (and they look up at me with awe as I quickly answer all their questions while running all over the lab; strange how quickly it feels I went from newbie to expert.) Some didn't show up until November, and only now have they all started in the lab. So it's taken a while to see how the dichotomy was all going to fall out. Most are the usual international bunch: one from Sweden, three from Algeria, one from China, and one from Cornwall.

I was warned about this from before I even left America; that I would hardly meet any British people in London. At the time I couldn't care less, as meeting interesting people from all over the world sounds cooler anyway. But now I quite enjoy having a proper Brit around. The expressions alone are hilarious, despite the fact I've now been in London nearly seventeen months.

Cornwallian: Yea, so if you want to go out tomorrow night, just give us a bell.
Me: *thinking to self* why on Earth does he want with a bell?

C: I was looking forward to doing this, but now [Swedish] isn't coming in today, so I'm scuppered.
M: What?
C: Scuppered.
M: Huh?
C: Scuppered.

I often ask him to repeat himself, and he now does so willingly. I forgot exactly what this word was, and was repeating the story to another Brit later that day and got it confused with "stropy." Which I know isn't right, as would any Yank who's seen Bend it Like Beckham as many times as I have. So I had to back to Cornwall, and ask him again and now I've memorized it. Still not 100% sure what it means though.

Pitch

2006-02-11T19:00:00.000Z

So to answer the question asked of me by every British person I saw last Monday, "Yes, I watched the Superbowl last night." Well, half of it anyway. It was boring, the Seahawks had too many penalties to be contenders, the refs were awful, and I was tired.

That said, I must let the Brits know that the version of the Superbowl they get (despite being broadcast live) is an utter rip-off compared to the well-packaged American version.

1. I'm sorry but British commentators of an American football game is by far the most hilarious thing I've seen in 2006.

2. NO COMMERCIALS! I say no, but what I mean is there were only about four. Most commercial breaks did not cut from the stadium, but instead up to a booth were a very concerned looking British journalist put his hand over this mouth and nodded intently at some ex-American football player meathead they dragged from off some street. This segment's purpose was clearly to explain the game to a country that doesn't play it. Ok then.

Other commercial breaks that actualized in commercials had the same lame ones over and over: Reebok, Coor's Light (oh God how embarrassed am I that this American travesty of a beer has made it across the pond?) and maybe "join the Territorial Army" or something equally uninteresting.

In America, I'd say 75% of the people watching the game (wives, girlfriends, people who hate football but want to go to a party, people whose favorite teams didn't make the final) watch for the commercials. It is the one time of the year companies pay millions and millions of dollars to unleash the most outlandish and memorable commercials possible. In fact, most water cooler talk at work Monday mornings dissects the commercials (good? bad? funny? worth the fuss/cost?) and not the game. It really rattled me, and I'd dare say a Superbowl without the commercials is not worth watching.

Fete

2006-02-09T21:00:00.000Z

So I had a pretty good time last night! Absolutely no abductions/harm done at all. Aside from getting out of the flat (which I've done now twice since returning January sixth) and meeting new Londoners, it was quite interesting to put faces to blogs and actually see the people I've been unwittingly picturing in my head for a long time. I think we should do it again soon!

Manifestation

2006-02-07T12:00:00.000Z

A London blogging meet up is scheduled for tomorrow night! So if you blog, or hell, just read this blog and like to drink, do come out.

Huw states:

the 8th of February, at 7pm at the Crown & Sceptre on Great Titchfield Street, in deepest Fitzrovia (BT Tower country). Great Portland Street or Oxford Circus are probably the best tubes for you. Or for anyone for that matter.

Joy.

Brawny

2006-02-04T09:00:00.000Z

Yea! Six Nations starts today. We must do better than last year, as nearly by definition, we couldn't possibly do any worse......

Never thought I would spend Superbowl weekend watching rugby instead, but there you go....

Ebullient

2006-01-29T12:03:00.000Z

Sometimes the best thing about living abroad, especially in a city as international as London, is all the other, non-British people I am lucky to interact with at times. It's an added bonus I never expected.

My nice quiet weekend morning breakfast routine was interrupted today by my SCREAMING, JUMPING, YELLING, OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD Cypriot flatmate. I must say, you really haven't watched final round Grand Slam tennis until you've watched it with a Cypriot cheering on a fellow Cypriot from her hometown.

I guess I just don't know what it's like. As far as America goes, our athletic representatives usually do quite well. After all, the richest nation in the world can make it relatively (and I said relatively before you all start jumping down my throat) easy for us, with funding and facilities made of an athlete's dreams. And as for the professional sports, we've quite obviously set it up so that we'd never have to fail against our foreign counterparts.... by never playing them. Seriously, if the World Series of baseball actually included teams from other parts of the world (aside from one measly Canadian team) we'd be put in our sorry ass places. Hell, just add Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and Cuba, and the USA would never again win a WS.

It goes hand in hand with thinking you're the center of the universe. What Lance Armstrong did was amazing, but most Americans, myself included, didn't have a reaction beyond, "gee, that's nice."

Not that I don't know the horrid heartbreak of losing. My favorite teams (Redskins, Orioles, Capitals, NC State) are collectively awful, and aside from a few moments of glory, generally out-and-out suck. So I was excited for my flatmate, and felt quite bad when the expected took place, and Federer did his thing. Good match though.

Algid

2006-01-27T00:30:00.000Z

London is freezing. You know it's too damn cold when I won't even go to the store round the corner, and am forced to purchase milk out of my building's vending machine:

I've never in my life seen this before. And it tastes funny. "UTH" appears to stand for "Ultra Heat Treated" but I think it stands for "pasteUrized all To Hell."

Overpriced?

2006-01-25T17:14:00.000Z

My favorite eBay Thames Whale auctions:

The famous watering can

Water

Coke can (do read this description for all the laughs.)

Whale email